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Anyone who doesn't support the Trans Agenda(tm) is a fucking psychopath (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/politicalmemes@lemmy.world
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[–] 9 points 1 year ago* (8 children)

What else do you call someone who wants to deny medical care for children and force them to go through irreversible changes?

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  • [–] -5 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    With irreversible changes do you mean puberty?

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago* (5 children)

    Unfortunately puberty causes irreversible changes yes.

    Now that doctors and parents en masse know trans people are a thing, if a child shows signs of gender dysphoria in early childhood, therapy is in order.

    If the therapist determines the child is probably trans, and the (male) child insists they don’t want to grow up as a man, or vice versa, or whatever, and the parents feel like it’s not going to change and they’re more concerned with the child’s happiness than with some religious conviction or conservative values they may be clinging to…

    The child should be given puberty blockers, which studies have shown do NOT cause irreversible damage.

    As the child becomes a teenager and the situation stays the same… eventually it becomes obvious that some form of puberty needs to happen, and a choice has to be made. Usually this happens around 14 - 16 I believe.

    It’s a tough decision, with many people involved, and the end result will be permanent irreversible changes to the teenager’s (soon to be adult’s) body.

    If you force the child to go through a puberty they don’t want, you fuck them up… forever.

    You destroy their life in a lot of ways. You condemn them to a life of harassment and rejection and isolation. Your own child.

    This isn’t just mad doctors running around with meat cleavers going to town.

    It’s a process that spans the child’s entire childhood, with thousands of opportunities to pump the breaks and change course, that if avoided in the name of something other than the child’s happiness and the doctors recommendations… will lead to tremendous misery and resentment.

    I was born in the late 80s. My parents didn’t know what trans was. They took me to a conversion therapist when I was 5. Their solution for me was to “convince me to be normal”.

    I grew up hating myself and feeling like a freak, because the feelings never went away, and I no longer felt safe talking about them… with anyone… so I was alone, hurting, in silence, watching my body change forever in ways I hated, trying to rationalize it all, imagining that one day I’d like the changes somehow.

    That day never came.

    I have been through a lot in my life. If my parents had known about transsexualism and gender transition, and supported me fully, my life would have been so much better.

    I now have a whole host of mental issues that will haunt me until the day I die.

    I want to love life. I want to see the good in people. It’s so hard when you’ve been through what someone like me has.

    I am the direct result of your nervousness about treating children for gender dysphoria.

    I am the alternative to supporting them.

    Please don’t believe I am better off.

    I’m not.

    I am in psychological pain that never ends.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Thank you for your openness and sharing your personal story. I can't even imagine what that must have been like, and I'm sorry that you had to experience that.

    Also thank you for taking the time to explain. I 100% agree with what you say. You describe a very careful procedure, it being such a delicate matter. This is what I would want for my son if he was in this position. He's 4 and has said he's a girl many times lately. That's incredibly young and probably a phase. I recall myself wanting to be a girl for a bit, at the same age, and my mom gave me a dress to wear (great mum, and a wonderful memory, I was lucky). It didn't stick for me. But if it does for him, my primary concern is their wellbeing, and that they grow up in an accepting environment (and society). I wish you could've had that.

    If I may ask you a question, I honestly don't know this. Puberty is a natural process that everyone goes through under normal circumstances. But children who transition and take puberty blockers don't, I assume (or do they but after transitioning?). If they don't, that's an experience they will never have, is there any issue with that?

    Thanks again for your thoughtful response. It's really helpful to understand.

    PS I wanted to clarify that my worry on this issue is primarily with doing away with a careful process, as I've heard sometimes being voiced. I'm not saying it should be made more difficult, but it is a delicate process, with young children, and I feel what you described is a proper way of handling it. I think many folks (the majority really) who consider themselves a bit more neutral on the matter think this way, and being called transphobe for even the slightest deviation from the opinion of some folks does the trans community more harm than good.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

    So there’s something called Hormone Replacement Therapy.

    It’s where doctors refer you to endocrinologists who measure the hormone levels in ng/DL or nanograms per deciliter in your blood.

    The endocrinologists then recommend a dosage of estradiol and progesterone, or testosterone if the child is transitioning from “female to male”, in order to bring their hormone levels into a healthy range for someone their age of the opposite sex.

    The body is surprisingly flexible especially during development when your bones and ligaments are still forming and your epiphyseal plates are still porous and malleable. When they go from blockers to HRT, their body will make puberty of the opposite sex happen, and they will look completely natural as a member of that sex, with the exception of their gonads/genitals.

    These are almost always the trans people “you can’t tell” with. It’s easy to blend in when you never went through “the wrong puberty” so to speak.

    That happens after the blockers, and is basically the final decision before permanent changes happen, usually at 14 - 16 years of age after having the child on puberty blockers and regularly therapy sessions.

    No medicine will be prescribed until puberty begins, and no surgeries will be prescribed until adulthood in most cases. There are some rare exceptions in some states, but it’s still at the parents discretion.

    If the child and you decide transition isn’t the right choice, the child can simply go off the puberty blockers, and regular puberty happens in line with their assigned sex at birth, with a minimal change in development.

    If your child is showing signs I absolutely recommend talking to multiple doctors and therapists about all of this, and if it seems right you may end up wanting to schedule some pediatric therapy for them to really investigate and potentially diagnose… or simply to learn that it really is just a phase, which is also worth knowing for sure from professionals, that way you don’t have to second guess yourself as much.

    Professionals make mistakes which is why I recommend seeking multiple opinions just to be sure.

    If you make the child feel safe and give them options, they will show you their true unfiltered nature, whatever that may be.

    Some little girls are tomboys early in life but grow up and remain female and live as women, because it’s not about what toys they like or how they interact with others… it’s about whether or not they have clinical gender dysphoria and feel sad or scared at the idea of growing up and living as their birth sex.

    Doctors are your friend. They became doctors to help people. Let them try!

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (2 children)

    Thank you for your response. As you can probably tell, I wasn't aware of the details of the procedure, and how much the timelines matter. I never felt the need to find out before because in general I trust healthcare professionals (and do support this type of care), but understanding more about it is certainly helpful and educational. Of course I can Google things, but then we miss the opportunity to learn from one another, right?

    About your advice of talking to our doctor about when my son says he's a girl. This is really interesting to me. I had not considered it before at all, didn't even cross my mind, and I can immediately say I won't take him now. There's multiple reasons for that that are of a personal nature that I won't share here, but I can tell why I'm immediately dismissive of the idea. These are personal beliefs.

    He's still very young and he's just figuring out that there's the concept of gender, and that we in general use these labels for one type and other. It's not something that is currently of any concern to me, not at home, nor the community we live in. All we care about is that he's happy, healthy, and that he becomes a good person at this stage. I believe that giving this any weight now, will make it into a thing. I don't want to influence this, he's just a tiny kid. Of course that would all change if it persists. If the school starts giving signals that something is afoot for example. But I imagine that that will still take quite some time. Again a personal belief here (and perhaps more controversial here): to me it feels like doing this now, in the situation we're in, feels like a gross overreaction (albeit orders of magnitude less extreme than immediately think about something like conversion therapy!). I think it's just completely normal behaviour, why consult a doctor? He's in a safe environment and can figure thing out for himself for now.

    If my kid finds himself in this position, I will do everything in my power to make this as smooth as possible. He will not be traumatised by this if he wants this.

    I do thank you for the suggestion, I hadn't thought about it myself and understand it comes from a good place.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    I think it’s just completely normal behaviour, why consult a doctor? He’s in a safe environment and can figure thing out for himself for now.

    Honestly agreed at that age.

    Just remember there's outside influences. If you aren't clearly demonstrating you are supportive now, regardless of whether she changes her mind later or not, she's likely to learn is something to be ashamed of and to keep a secret. After internalizing that, it can be hard to trust people even if they're trying to be supportive. Personally, I can remember hiding things by around the age of 7 or 8. My mom was supportive of gender non-conforming behavior, but only at home and that (combined with broader interactions with people) just taught me it was something to hide, including from my mom.

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