Man you really just want to prove how genuinely unhinged you are and how little you've done to grow, huh?
No one who has actually had serious self-growth would ever in a fucking million years want to force other people to want to watch them commit suicide to punish them.
Seriously, my ex did that shit to me. Why? Because we were in an argument about how I had cancer and was working full-time, did all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and life planning and she sat on her butt at home. So she decided to tell me I never really loved her and tried to force me watch her kill herself because I had the fucking audacity to ask for help after I had been struggling with cancer for a year already. It has left me all fucked up, but the only people I blame for that is her and me specifically. Her for being so petty as to try to force me to watch her kill herself (by trying to swallow all my cancer meds no less) after over a decade of basically being her caretaker, and myself for not having the balls to make a boundary earlier before she tried to do this fucked up thing to me. Anyway, good job, you successfully triggered me over some fucked up shit I've been through.
No one who has ever done the work and experienced real growth would ever do that to another person, especially not just random people as you seem to be implying you would do it to. You are deeply fucked up, and you have made no growth as much as you lie to yourself that you have. If you ever had any real serious personal growth, you wouldn't ever be saying shit like that you fucking sociopath. Like that's the whole thing, you've said an unimaginable amount of selfish fucked up things here today, shifted goalposts from "there's a double standard" to "well she grew past her trauma but not everyone grows past their trauma like me for example", and have generally been one of the biggest fucking whiners I have ever encountered, but even when you admitted that you purposefully push people away because it's easier to be an angry angsty asshole who feels sorry for themselves than it is to actually be a decent human being, you still haven't put two and two together that you haven't actually grown at all and you're the actual fucking problem here and maybe, just maybe, that you are the reason people don't like you, not the cruel cruel world.
I mean, even if humans didn't destroy themselves, it's not like the heat death of the universe isn't inescapable. Yawn, what a load of existential crisis bollocks. You're pathetic.