When you decided to switch to personal insults, I stopped caring about your feelings.
instead of you not wanting others to suffer as you have
I used to want to change the world so that others wouldn't suffer like I have, but when people decided to view that as a weakness and exploit the vulnerability by heaping piles of extra suffering on top of me, it beat me down and after a while of that it kind of turned my plot arc into that supervillain origin story with an underwhelming conclusion due to my lack of superpowers.
The world has never taken responsibility for its role in making me what I am. I had potential, but they'd rather see me fail and suffer than live in a world where I had the satisfaction of making the world a better place. They wouldn't tolerate me being compassionate. They chose suffering, and then they complain when the suffering envelops them too. They thought I would be the only one who suffered, a convenient and well-behaved scapegoat. Well, I'm not so docile, and I don't have sympathy for a world that had no sympathy for me.
You have zero desire to do better or grow, as much as you like to pretend you do.
You've clearly misinterpreted what I said. I said I put effort into growth for years in the past, but when it proved to be futile I gave up on it. That implies that I don't care anymore, so it's still logically consistent. Is trying the same thing over and over and expected a different conclusion not the definition of insanity?