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Men becoming violent with you for not wanting sex with them? (lemmy.zip)
submitted 9 months ago by to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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This has happened too many times to be a coincidence and it's always men from Taimi that already know I'm trans, it's never the men from Hinge whom I date stealth.

They invite you over everything seems nice until you tell them you don't want sex. I'm asexual, and this leads to some agressive reaction from him always followed by "you're too young and immature you can't be asexual" with tarnsphobic remarks. ALWAYS the same sentences.

This last time this guy yelled at me saying "You think I'm stupid? You're asexual but post pictures of your fat ass in your profile" I'm not joking he literally said that shit ๐Ÿ’€

Mind you they're not pictures of my butt, I'm fully clothed, this is an example:

It's funny how I never get these reactions from men that I'm having a date with while stealth, not even when I tell them later. They either don't care or just tell me they're not interested in trans people, but the guys who are from Taimi seem to be the most transphobic and deranged.

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[โ€“] 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (6 children)

Haven't had that experience (yet? thankfully) in my transition, but yeah ew, I can imagine. I only had a guy be all flushy when I sat next to him in the train, but other than that, nothing.

I think it's because guys often date only for the fucks, and not to just have a fun time together gaming, walking, doing hobbies. They're horny mfs. But yeah, I feel like what you describe are chasers, ie. people who "chase" trans people, not because they think they're cool, but becaue of fetishisation. They wanna treat us as a sort of property, and don't actually care at all about us and our issues as people.

Jealous of your looks though sis, I wish I had that! Either lucky genetics, or that's good exercise. Maybe I should do that too. Any tips, if I may ask?

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  • [โ€“] [S] 7 points 9 months ago (4 children)

    Yes they're definitely chasers but I feel like it's something more than just fetishistic nature. They think trans women will put up with things that they do that cis women don't that's why they persue us and when we're just like any other woman they show their true face.

    To be honest I'm a very sedentary person but doing more exercise is something that everyone should do. I was very skinny as a teen but now I'm 21 and estrogen started to act differently in my body, I gain more weight specially on the hips and bottom. But it also makes me gain acne if I eat sugary foods. Kinda like my body's telling me I'm not a teenager anymore ๐Ÿ˜…

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  • [โ€“] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

    Yeah, I don't put up with that bullshit either. I might be trans but that doesn't mean I put up with more.

    As for your body - so it's taking estrogen early + genetics? Darn. I started at 28... I wish I'd started so much sooner - had I known my family would be positive, I myself would have started at primary school age.

    I have a mostly rectangular body, only extremely slightly hourglassy. I have a small but decent ish butt, not nowhere near yours. I didn't know I could feel butt envy ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚

    My body basically is shaped like a not very muscular twink, with a bit of 85C boob and hip/butt. So I feel like the E's not done much, but to be fair, I'm only 10 months on it and still taking antiboyotics alongside the F&F's. I do have luscious hair though, which helps! I hope it's not too late for my hips to widen up, but I don't have much hope.

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  • [โ€“] [S] 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    You've only been 10 months on E? Girl I've been on E for 9 years, give it time so your body develops with your hormones. I didn't notice anything for years ๐Ÿ˜ตโ€๐Ÿ’ซ

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  • [โ€“] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 child)

    I mean true, but I looked at transition timelines very occassionally and then saw how people transitioned so quickly in a year or two. Maybe they're using different methods and also had jaw, nose and hip/bottom surgeries, but still. I feel jealous.. I guess it takes time, and maybe it varies from person to person! I don't know well what makeup for example helps best with feminising stuff.

    I'm on spray (3 doses a day), if that matters to any extent. I started 10 months ago indeed, but I'm already 28.

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  • [โ€“] 3 points 9 months ago

    It feels weird to have parents that set a reasonable expectation that a healthy relationship doesn't revolve around sex. Like, they just... live their lives, have fun together, do menial stuff. Have their own hobbies/interests separate from each others.

    That said, I'm also a bit jealous, of both the hair and the butt (my bony ass hurts from sitting...) ๐Ÿ˜…

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