their fears are legitimate
There is where you lost me. Their fears of... what... exactly? The gay/les/trans agenda? (to not live in hiding and fear of being murdered for whom one likes or loves?) That is not legitimate.
I will seek to understand. I will approach with curiosity. But to say their fears are legitimate is a bridge too far. There is no paradox of tolerance when one side does not agree or adhere to the social contract. That side wants LGBTQ+ people eliminated. They forfeit the social contract.