Bad examples of manliness, seeing things as transactional, and being so focused only on myself.

My dad has a narcissistic type of personality. I'm going to just insert this bit from Mayo Clinic to save me a ton of time.

Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and how severe they are can vary. People with the disorder can:

• Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.
• Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.
• Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements.
• Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.
• Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.
• Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.
• Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important.
• Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.
• Take advantage of others to get what they want.
• Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.
• Be envious of others and believe others envy them.
• Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited.
• Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they view as criticism. They can:

• Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special recognition or treatment.
• Have major problems interacting with others and easily feel slighted.
• React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.
• Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.
• Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.
• Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.
• Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection.
• Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure.

When to see a doctor

People with narcissistic personality disorder may not want to think that anything could be wrong, so they usually don't seek treatment. If they do seek treatment, it's more likely to be for symptoms of depression, drug or alcohol misuse, or another mental health problem. What they view as insults to self-esteem may make it difficult to accept and follow through with treatment.

So long story short, a lot of treating the world like it owes you something and being an asshole to people when they don't live up to your unreasonable expectations. Everything had to revolve around him, and that is the example I got, as I wasn't around many other adults.

Relationships were transactional. I did this, this, and this, so now you owe me this, no excuse. It's like grinding in a game. Complete these objectives, earn this reward. But that isn't how life is. You can do as you please, as nice or rude as you want, but so can everyone else. If I did something nice for someone, that should be out of wanting to be nice to them, not to make them owe me something and being rude if they don't see it that way.

In the OP's nice guy scenario, guys will compliment someone, do them a favor, listen to them when they need someone to talk to, and not see that as being a friend or supportive person, but basically as points. I helped you, so now you should owe me a date, for instance. You see the boyfriend thing not as a partner, but a business relationship. I did this, so why aren't you doing that? You aren't thinking of building an equal partnership with someone, you are being selfish and inconsiderate of them as their own person. It's totally hollow, because even though another person is there, they're not really actively involved in the relationship, they are basically a game piece in your eyes when you think that way. You don't care what they want or feel, you see it as they owe you something. And who would want to be with someone like that? But a person with that mindset can't place themselves in the other person's shoes and they lash out of anger instead. The other person will usually just WTF on out of there, and I don't blame them.

So much of my life has been me losing friendships for having an egocentric view like this. Everyone tires of it eventually. Some last longer, others see how you are right away. I am constantly reminded of such cringe stuff I've done, and now that I understand it after getting medicine for my depression, I was able to see what I was doing and fix it. I found better examples of how to be a respectable person, and made friends with women instead of trying to "win" them. Now I'm able to be an interesting and well rounded person that people will naturally like...usually. Some people will still dislike you, not want to date you, or be rude to you for no apparent reason, but that's just how it goes, and I can handle that now.

I'll shut up now, since that's a lot, but if you want to hear more about anything else, or if I've missed the mark on what you're looking for, I can talk more.