I'm a transgender woman in NY. Honestly, with all the support systems in place, I couldn't think of a better place to live. Insurance covers gender-affirming care and all of my doctors are simply amazing. I count my blessings daily.

I'm so sorry

Don't beat yourself up. I don't think coming out is ever easy. But if you have to, it's much harder if you're a minor and/or not mature and settled in life with nothing to prove to anybody.

You don't have to come out to everyone at once. I started out with my closest friends 4 years ago, went on with my parents a year later, extended family another year later, and my coworkers just this week. Take your time, you can do this.

Another trick is to crossdrews (maybe start off around accepting people) and just see how it feels and if you keep going and feel better that way, you are probably trans and your friends will probably catch on without you having to explain yourself. That's what I did, I didn't even come out to most of them directly, I just eventually changed my pronouns on name tags and told my closer friends first.