God forbid people enjoy their lives instead of trying to minmax their lifespan.

It's good to be informed when something is risky or bad for you, but people can decide what to do with their own body.

Weird, I just posted an oddly relevant music video the other day.

I could see mysleft showing up in armour at least but then I know there would be at least one time "too late to ditch the armour... I'll change when I get there"

"I needed it for armor upgrades"

Lmao bro is living in a game!

"Arsenic is literally poison."

"But so is cyanide!!"

So a couple of things. Just so ya know, when The Onion started in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s, it did not loudly announce itself as satire the way people view it now. Early print issues were laid out exactly like a local newspaper.

Yep, I know. If you were riding the DC Metro in those days you'd find the paper edition in paper dispensers right next to the Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal (pre-Murdoch ownership). I think I may have a couple of the old ones in a box somewhere.

You’re also wrongly assuming satire must: Be obviously humorous.

I never assumed satire had to be humorous. I said the Onion was satire, and it was humorous.

We’re Twilight Zone/Black Mirror,/J.G. Ballard/early cyberpunk (before the game) journalism, not current era Onion listicle satire.

You're making my point for me. All of those sources were known to the consumers as fiction and allowed to consumer to compare reality against that speculative future. You're not doing that. You are well aware that most folks that read what you're writing assume its true. You can't have it both ways.

And let’s not overlook the fact that tomorrow or the day after, or soon, many of my articles will no longer be fiction.

I think you've moved beyond satire and are headed toward disinformation now.

tl;dr: Explaining the joke, ruins the joke.

Well hang on, you just said your intent wasn't humor. Wouldn't that make your actions humor at the expense of people reading what you're making up?

Unsurprisingly, it started as incel culture: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/maxxing

So is alcohol and people love that shit.

The fact that he stole the cans from them and then walked in wearing them LOL

Both are literally poison

This is really fucking funny

Can I ask what your goal is? You're referencing the Onion which is a satire site. The Onion's goal is to entertain, and provide some social commentary with the protection of satire. Also with the Onion, it is well known it is satire. Readers are "in on the joke". Your description from the sidebar doesn't look like that.

The way I read your sidebar message is that all (most?) news in the world is fake and that no news from any source should be trusted at all. It also reads like you're taking joy it deceiving the readers. The sidebar language suggests no one should trust anything. Am I taking your wrong message or is that what you intended?

I'm hoping that this is a future origin story.

Thats exactly what they want you to think.

Goddammit! I saw it wasn't the onion, and thought it was ok. Lol. They got me this time, thanks for calling it to my attention

I'll consider myself lucky that I didn't embarrass myself and remember to check the community and article source.

(You’re good, it took me until the “chad” line to check the sidebar)

Yeah, I ate the onion on that one

Ah, you got me!

1. Faxing
2. Taxing
3. Waxing

How did a country where more than half the people read under a gr5 level spell that word? LooksmaxXing?