Can I ask what your goal is? You're referencing the Onion which is a satire site. The Onion's goal is to entertain, and provide some social commentary with the protection of satire. Also with the Onion, it is well known it is satire. Readers are "in on the joke". Your description from the sidebar doesn't look like that.
The way I read your sidebar message is that all (most?) news in the world is fake and that no news from any source should be trusted at all. It also reads like you're taking joy it deceiving the readers. The sidebar language suggests no one should trust anything. Am I taking your wrong message or is that what you intended?