know that my mind constantly wants to engage in an understanding of mindfulness rather than the practice itself.

Big +1 to that. I noticed though that I can use this connection as a jump starter: When I read texts about mindfulnes, the anticipation of the benefits and the tone those books are written calms me down. So while the more important part is the practice itself, sometimes reading those popular feel-good texts is actually improving the my practice itself.

s for your question of if you should get more serious about things, I guess that depends on what you're looking for. Are you getting what you want out the time you spend practicing? Are you finding what you're looking for? Once you articulate your purpose, it will be easier for you to determine which way to go. I wish you the best with your practice.

I am getting out of my practice what I want, but I am a FOMO guy. When I stand up after a session, I often wonder what would happen if I would have sat longer, if I would sit more consistently, etc. You know, if I can get a bite of the enlightenment cake everyone is talking about. I understand that its an attainable state but not sure if for me and my engagement with the path.

My humble opinion is that you did achieve a habit of being mindful which I wish I was more often. I tend to worry a lot and look at things in the wrong way due to lack of mindfulness. I could save myself lots of stress if I just practice 15 minutes a day.

My understanding is that meditation is there for you, but if you don't need or want it at the time, then just leave it on the shelf. Meditation is its own goal, it will not solve your problems. If it makes you feel good and you like how it affects your mental state and decision making, absolutely sounds like something you should consider investing more time into.

If it leaves you feeling unaccomplished and worried about the time you lost, then yeah maybe consider doing it less.

Probably posting here because you're looking for support, but since Lemmy is so damn small, I see everything.

Tried meditating for over 3 years daily. I was looking for transcendental experience, but could never get past 30 minutes of meditation. It was mostly a complete waste of time.

I find meditation is very oversold to the public. It doesn't work for everyone and actually might make things worse if you're a control freak or a spiritual bypasser.

I'm not completely closed off to it, maybe it might be part of a practice in the future, but right now I'm looking into a mushroom trip, playing music, and doing some Jungian shit.

Sure. You way advanced of me. I don't even think in terms of meditating I think in a kind of reverse yoda that Im attempting to meditate. Mostly for me its deep breathing and focusing on that although sometimes I move my limbs and stretch and focus on that. I mostly do it when I otherwise don't have something to do. waiting rooms. metro. bus. etc. Do I get anything out of it. I don't know. A few times I think maybe I was. time sorta distorte where it went by real fast but at the same time I was aware of it. Not sure how to explain it. Sorta like when you are doing a repetitive or common tax and kinda lose time except you did not really lose the time. Ultimately im not sure but I think its a worthwhile way to be with yourself.

I can relate to this. I have been meditating for about 50 years. I use my practice for dealing with difficult situations, bringing myself back to center, and for both focus and awareness. My practice is an anchor in a constantly shifting world.

I use both formal and informal meditation practices. I'm more consistent with the informal. For example, every morning I stop along with the river on the way to work for a minimum of three mindful breaths. This practice gives me what I need. It's way to gather myself before the larger demands of the day try to take my attention. I repeat the practice again on the way home. I like this informal practice because it's so centering. It's become a ritual.

I also use apps for my practice, primarily for the gamification aspect. That's just to keep the monkey mind busy. I'm conscious of the fact that I do at least an informal practice a day to not lose my streak. I'm aware that the part of me that needs to be placated in that way is the mind.

I know that my mind constantly wants to engage in an understanding of mindfulness rather than the practice itself. I've met it halfway by combining my sitting solo practice with group practices. It's harder to make your practice brief if you're involved in a group practice; you don't wanna walk out of the room because your mind isn't focusing. Like you,I also have piles of books about meditation and mindfulness. For me, the purpose of the practice is to build the muscle that helps me return to center as often as I can. That's where I've felt a shift in my life. When I use my sitting practice more consistently, my perspective changes. I am not as beholden to the forces of distraction.

As for your question of if you should get more serious about things, I guess that depends on what you're looking for. Are you getting what you want out the time you spend practicing? Are you finding what you're looking for? Once you articulate your purpose, it will be easier for you to determine which way to go. I wish you the best with your practice.