Probably posting here because you're looking for support, but since Lemmy is so damn small, I see everything.
Tried meditating for over 3 years daily. I was looking for transcendental experience, but could never get past 30 minutes of meditation. It was mostly a complete waste of time.
I find meditation is very oversold to the public. It doesn't work for everyone and actually might make things worse if you're a control freak or a spiritual bypasser.
I'm not completely closed off to it, maybe it might be part of a practice in the future, but right now I'm looking into a mushroom trip, playing music, and doing some Jungian shit.