A Compromitocracy.

Something is rotten in the state.

Ah shit, here we go again.

Trying to have a conversation with someone who thinks words are a competition. Trying to shake hands with someone who tries to arm wrestle you.

We got weekends. We got 40 hour weeks. We can get summer and winter hours. Less daylight, less work. No time change. Sleep in. Come home early. No sun, we're done. Time to play video games, make your partner come, work on a personal hobby, enjoy your life.

The other thing about it now is they cut the scene in every version of the film that establishes Ace is using his "powers" for good: when he pretends to be a trainer of dolphins to head off the reporters. Without that scene, he's just an asshole the whole film.

Ace Ventura: Heinz Getwellvet. I am trainer of dolphins. You want to talk to de dolphin, you talk to me.

Reporter #1: What happened to the regular trainer?

Ace Ventura: Vat happened to him? Vat happened to me? Seven years I am wit Siegfried.

[he holds up only four fingers]

Ace Ventura: Ve are making de dolphins disappear, und den Roy is coming wit ze tiger und ze shtuffing in de pants und den I'm gone.

Reporter #2: [skeptically] Where is Snowflake?

Ace Ventura: Why do you care about Snowflake? Do you know him? Does he call you at home?

[shouts]

Ace Ventura: Do you have a dorsal fin? To train ze dolphin you must zink like ze dolphin! You must be getting inside ze dolphin's head. I am saying to Snowflake, "Akay!... Akay Akay Akay?" und he is saying "AKay Akay!" und he is up on ze tail "Eeeeeeeeee!" und you can quote him!

[Ace spits]

Next do those god awful disposable phone charger batteries they sell at hardware stores at the checkout lanes.

Cows be getting blathered on chardonnay

We need to terraform earth back into earth like.

The unfathomable truth is that New Jersey has better pizza.

Marty, please take me with you.

Their pattern indicates two dimensional thinking.