My mindfulness practice has recently sort of fallen to the wayside. I try to meditate twice a day but as I've been struggling with psychosis/paranoia, I find a lot of the time that I sit to meditate instead ends up being spent ruminating. I'm trying to gradually get back into it though, making more of an effort each session to spend more of the time actually meditating vs caught up in worried thoughts.

Something I used to do that I think could be useful to start up again was "slow mornings", basically I'm very much internet/computer addicted so what I would do sometimes is when I wake up, rather than checking my PC, avoid all technology for as long as I could. It was usually just a few hours, but being unable to check my PC or my phone during that time meant I spent the time doing other things like meditation, exercise, reading, or just sitting and enjoying the silence. I found it had a massively positive effect on my mental health when I was doing it. Maybe this is my cue to restart it.

As some others have said, look at therapists in your area - it's likely you'll find some that offer online, phone, or video call sessions. Those are your best bet. Avoid platforms like BetterHelp as these are generally a scam and you'd be wasting your money, and probably not getting much in the way of any qualified help.

Just search "therapists [town name]" or "therapists [area name]" and look at their websites/listings to find the ones that do online work.

I'm just across the border from you in Poland and of the ones in my area I'd say probably about half offer some kind of remote sessions, so I imagine it's similar there.

The most important thing is finding a therapist you feel comfortable with - so don't be afraid to spend a long time researching before you choose one, and also - if they don't feel like a good fit after the first session, feel free to try others before you commit to one.

Mu online. Damn that's a name I haven't heard in a long while. I was never any good at it but remember me and a few school friends played it for a while back in like 2006ish.

I just realised typing itself almost functions like a fidget toy to me. Sometimes I just write a comment or type just for the sensation. Especially feels good to try and type as fast as I can.

Yeah been an on/off problem of mine for half my life now, something about both the nicotine and the ritual. I haven't really found anything to replace it with, chewing gum kinda does it a little bit but it's not quite the same.

I used to take my glasses cleaning cloth and roll it up like if I was rolling a cigarette, then run my thumb and finger down it because it has that nice velour(?) texture, that's another one that relaxed me but I haven't done it in forever.

Spotify supports one of the companies building drones to help defend Ukraine? I don't see the downside to this. Without companies like them, Ukraine would absolutely not be able to hold the line. If anything, as someone living in neighbouring Poland, it makes me feel much better about the idea of renewing my sub.

I do understand the reluctance to support any sort of defense/military company, but come on, helping defend Ukraine (and by extension, the rest of Europe) is a little different than the companies spending billions on weapons to be used in the middle east.

I seem to recall the one for Root was particularly bad, can't remember for the others.

I've only briefly dabbled with Linux, but during the time I did I felt similarly. I (not sure if autism or ADHD causing it) hyperfixate on one hobby for a bit, then move onto another, and repeat.

Based on what you said about viewing music as a kind of language that can be written down and understood, I actually want to suggest something maybe a little less conventional: Making music in a DAW (digital audio workstation - basically software to make music) on a computer. Depending on the keyboard you have, you may be able to plug it in and use it to control instruments in the DAW.

The reason I think you might actually enjoy getting started there is because it's a great way to dip your toes in different areas of music without much experience.

Your very first song attempt will likely have you learning about creating melodies, scales, chords, bass, effects, song structure, etc. You won't necessarily learn a LOT during that first song, but you'll learn a tiny little bit about many different musical things. And you'll get to experiment and make something fun in the process. Your first songs will probably sound a little goofy, but they'll be your very own creation - rather than just someone else's song you've learned to play.

As you make songs, you can search up tutorials on each of the things you want to learn, like "drum patterns for [genre]" or "how to make a catchy melody for [genre]", or "how to use reverb properly" or "how to structure a song", just search up things as you run into the need for them. Or even follow complete tutorials for making a song from start to finish, and then experiment and add your own spin on things.

With each song you'll get progressively better, and learn more about music, and all of these lessons can translate into learning musical instruments too. You'll get understandings of things like scales, and chords, and basic music theory. Then if you learn any instrument you can even record it and incorporate it into one of your tracks!

Just thought I'd suggest this because like you I very much view music as like a language to learn, and I struggled to learn various instruments with little initial success - but then found myself drawn to making music on my computer and have fallen in love with it!

I had an uncanny experience like that as a teenager with an "NPC like" character. I was walking around a small cul-de-sac, and there was an older woman standing in front of her house, completely frozen in place, just staring off into the distance blankly.

As I'm walking past she suddenly looked at me and barked out rather aggressively "Do you know what time it is?"

I checked the time on my phone and told her it. She snapped "NO! It's [completely different time]", she sounded angry as hell, I actually got a little scared.

Then she just glared at me in complete silence.

I started walking away and she just turned her head, watching me, but not saying another word.

She didn't move from the spot she was standing on.

That said I blame dementia, psychosis, drugs, or otherwise failing mental health before I'd jump to the nothing is real or everything is a simulation conclusion, but it was definitely such an uncanny feeling situation that it stuck with me to this day.

I'm not aware of any other public 2009scape servers other than the official one, I figure most people who want multiplayer with more than just a small group of friends just play there.

But I'll second what slazer said, grab the singleplayer version and play that. That's what I do when my OSRS sub isn't active. About to boot it up and play a little as we speak actually!

I like this site for calculating where you line up strength standard wise. It's not perfect but I think the numbers it gives are pretty reasonable.

As for your question, I'm not sure of my actual 10RM but the last weight I lifted for 10+ reps was I believe 112.5kg, @ 79kg BW.