First out loud laugh of the day

It is to show that I suffered with you for a bit. Only one third of me, to be fair, which I created specifically for that little exercise.

One third of me gave up a whole weekend! If that ain’t love I don’t know WHAT is!

"Luckily there was a loophole in those rules that I (omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient) made."

If that doesn't scream, "made up by the clerics trying to avoid contradicting each other and bringing the whole house of lying cards down as they went", just keep sending money to your church. Because if a god needs anything, it's obviously worldly riches and unquestioning loyalty. We need these churches to impress everyone with the power of our god, but he's sleepy after making it all and throwing tantrums bigger than we can imagine because people were acting like the way he made them capable of acting, like cartoon villains in some cases, like a whole city whose first reaction to seeing an angel was "Let's all rape it!" So that's why you need to send your money without any questions!

I know it’s hard to grasp but there is wisdom in this, if you care to find it.

Isn't that called "original sin"? What a fucked up concept. Every single person born starts out in the negative for shit that they never did

It will always be confusing as long as you think about it

To be fair, I understand him 100%

All religions are basically the same. They all came about by guys trying to explain things that they couldn't understand. And all of them are similar with things like a virgin birth.

The guy that was famously punched in the face by Santa Claus

Real story, st Nicholas punched Arius because of the whose heresy thing, and the resulting chaos led to the council of nicea

Modern Judaism doesn't really have this kind of view of the end of the world at all. This was kind of fad in Judaism for a while due to Israel getting conquered a bunch by foreign powers but it hasn't been a big thing for like 2000 years at this point

We didn't have rules back then

It gets better.

The Greek word that's eventually translated to English "virgin" means unwed. (I have no source at hand to support that.)

Let's employ Occam's razor.

Mary (lit. Beloved) is just some dirt poor farmers daughter who got knocked up and ran away to the next village with her boy friend. Gave birth in a barn.

Then 25 years later this dude shows up again, a carpenter by trade, and is a total hippie.

Then all his mates write down his adventures in letters to each other.

I hear this Jesus guy is a pretty big deal with the Republicans. He's probably on that list they won't release.

I'm kinda curious about your source. The infancy gospel of James puts her at 16, still creepy, and it also has fun weird shit like the priests having her take a magic abortion potion test to prove her purity and her vag burning the midwife's hand.

Mary wasn't the virgin, her mother was. She had to be pure that way to carry jebus. It's so nonsensical even the followers of the religion get their own shit wrong.

Republicans just following gods teachings.

Remember this is still the nice version. The OT is the "we mean business" half. Honestly re-reading some of the OT stories as an adult is fucking wild, and kind of fun if you treat it as mythology. Its still fucked up don't me wrong. Tho I sometimes think it would be fun to watch an HBO mini series about the OT. Like the story of Samsung is just wild.