My coworker and I shared a stamp that we got made for this purpose and it became something people looked forward to getting in their card, weirdly.

I think it said something like

Dear ______,

Happy Birthday / Anniversary (circle one)

You are such a _________ and __________ man / woman (circle one) and I hope you have a great day.

With utmost sincerity, Name

Something like that. I think I actually still have it somewhere.

It’s Brendan, can’t you read?

There's someone at my work that has done this.

After people found out about it, they started skipping having her sign birthday cards

SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS!
HAVE A GOOD ONE.
BRENDAN

It says right on the stamp: Brendan.

Oh my god. I found someone like me.

I draw small cartoons. It's a little horn / confetti if it's a celebration card and a dove holding an olive branch if it's a sympathy card.

I mean, if the stamp had said, "It is your birthday" it woulda at least been kinda funny.

Would a printed stamp work? Then it would be easy and cheap.

A long time ago I had a stamp with movable letter wheels so you could stamp anything. It was probably just for dates though, and I don’t know how well the wheels would scale to the entire alphabet