I swallowed a bee. Not on purpose. I was out boking and singing along to my current favorite album (the last best concert I went to) and, well, my relationship with bees requires some explaining.

When I was a kid, bees liked to land on my glasses, then climb around to the inside. In between the glass and my eyeball. Have you ever tasted your bravery? Courage? Just whether you could stand really fucking still? Bees like my eye juices okay.

So a bee came at me. Went in my mouth while I was singing on my bike ride. If you can't sing while you're exercising, you're working too hard. I may or may not have been part of a roving band of violent minstrels when I was younger. That's beside the point. The damn bee I can still feel it on my uvula. Aaaaaa

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[–] 52 points 5 months ago (3 children)

omg I would fall off my boke

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  • [–] 19 points 5 months ago (5 children)

    So you were singing in the key of bee?

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  • [–] 15 points 5 months ago (4 children)

    Pretty sure now it's the key of bee flat...

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  • [–] [S] 13 points 5 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago* (2 children)

    Dull point of order: There is no b-sharp. That would be c. :P

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 5 months ago* (1 child)

    Dull argument raised and noted, bee sharp and cee natural are musical cinnamon rolls. Cee flat and bee natural are also cinnamon rolls. They are simply uncommon notations. It is like finding an archaic definition in the dictionary. Like the double sharp and double flat notations.

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  • [–] 15 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    My dogs likes to snatch flies out of the air. He thinks of them as sky raisins.

    You ate a jalapeno sky raisin.

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  • [–] 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    I've had bees clock me at high-speed in the forehead while biking, which sucks (for me and the bee I expect) -- but swallowing one whole? Wow.

    If you feel guilty, as penance go hand-pollinate a few flowers each morning for the next few days. There's work to be done! :)

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  • [–] 25 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    "beeside the point"

    also, friend, not dull.

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  • [–] 11 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Just relax. The bee is in control now.

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  • [–] 8 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Best small prose of the internet today.

    🏆

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  • [–] 8 points 5 months ago

    I've taken bees in the mouth when I've been out on my dual sport. That can be painful at 60kph.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago
    [–] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Sorry for you and the bee :'(

    That being said, what is your current favorite album?

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago (6 children)

    Was it a honeybee or a bumblebee?

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  • [–] [S] 9 points 5 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago*

    OH no it must have been a ⁁̸̴̸̸̵̵̷̸̸̷̴̴̸̶̧̧̧̡̡̛̳̰̟̱̩̦̣̜͉̟͓̠̺̦̫͕̲̫̠͈͇͙̳͖͓͓͍͚͔̭̭̫͓̮̘̗͓͎̰̜̥̞͎̹͔̫̯̘̞͍̲̻̥͇̥̘̠̤̠̜̠̜͍͈̯̼̙͇͎̪͔̘͉̆̇̀̆̈́̄́̆͌̆̎̏̽̊̑̄̔̓̄͗̉̀̏͑̓̉̓͌͐͑̍̀̃̈́̋̏̓̅͛̆̈̉͋̅̔̌͐̈́͛̋͐̓̓̒̔̅̄̄́̎̍̉̓̀̆͆̑̀͑͂̀̓̊̿̌̃̓͛́͛͗͌͆̇̈́̿̒͌͐͑̊̓́̑̂̏̀͒̂̆͗͗̾̒̏̈́͌̒̈́̍͛̕̕̕͘̕͘͘̚̕̕̕͜͝͝͠͝͝※̷̵̶̵̷̵̵̵̵̶̸̴̸̵̵̸̶̶̵̶̴̷̷̢̧̨̡̧̧̧̧̡̡̧̢̢̡̨̨̢̢̧̡̡̛̛̛̛̛̛̛͖̙̭̤͈̣̳̹̗̻̗̖̙̠̙̤͍̪̟̼͔̻͖̲̦̪͕̹̙̤̼͇͉̻̠̳̰̗̼̗̭̙̹̬̩̫̳̯̱̥̘̠̠̦̭̰̲̻̬͙̲̬̩̟̮̠͖͇̩͍̺̩̼̞̱͈̠̯̯̪̘̝̪̗̥̝̖̜̬̰͔̲̣̟͖̲͉̼̯̦͉͍̦͉̜̜̲͔̙̳̣͇͈̘̼̥̦̣͉̜͔̤̦̠͍͈̖͕͍̠͇̙̪̰͔̣͍̣̱̞͓̖̼̜͉̱͕̻͖͕͉̗̘̝̜̥͚̙̗̭̳̬̰̤̲̞̬̰̬̼̠̹̻͎̦̠̤͓̤̗̯̹̖̩͉̫̒̏͗͗̈́͗̀́͒͗͋̀̈̓̾̆́̈́̑́͆̉̇̈́̒͌̀̒̍͐̃̈́́͗̑̏͑̎̿͐̊̔́̐́̂̓̔̐̀̈́̀͑̉͛͋̏̃̃͑̾̅͐͋̿̆̃́̓̌̾̔̔̑́̆͛̊͐̀̑̆̒͐̓̈͆̃̏̓͑͋́͐̓̉̈́̒̃͌̀͐̾̄̎́̆̒̀́̌̏̈́̏̏̏͐̔̋̂̌̏͊́̽̓̏́͗̿̔̀̏͑̈́̆͆͂̀̃̑̎̓́̌̾̇̏̑͗̋̂͊̀̈́̓̌͊̀̏͐̓͘͘͘͘͘̕͘͘͘̚̕͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͠͝͠͝͝͠͠͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅͅͅ⁐̸̶̷̶̴̸̷̷̵̵̶̵̷̨̡̧̧̨̡̧̢̨̨̧̛̛̛͕͕̫̣͉̮͍̼̳̻̗̮̘͇͇̣͇͓̳̗͙͕̲͕̫̥͉͙̯͕̮͓͓̫͈̰͎͖͓͓̰͍̹̹̳͓̰̞̤̦̖͚̟̟̻̻̱̮̰̯̪̜̻̟͇̞͓͇̰͇̦̯̮̟͉̫̘̲̱̳͇̻͚̲͖̝̔͑̏̑̇͂́̈́̈́͛̊̾̏̏̈́͑̀͆̈́̅̒͐̅͒̾́͊̓́͋͑̀̋̈́̎̿̒̀̏͒̀̌̌̍̎̅͐̅̓͊̿̔͛͊͆̌̀́͒̈́̊̂̿̀̔́̋͑̍̆͊͛̒̒͗͂́̇̌̅̀͊͌̽̑́̅̌̆̾̉̓̅̔̎̃̕͘̚̚͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅ⁽̸̸̴̷̶̶̷̸̵̷̵̵̴̶̸̶̵̶̷̢̢̧̨̨̧̧̡̨̨̨̡̨̡̛̻͈̹͎̩͍̫̳̫̜̰̘̪̹͔̰̹̝̮͎͙̖̱̗̰͚̟̭͈̖̠̳͎̼͍̳̻̯͉̩͕̙͎̖̞̤̪̩͍̥̝̪͉̱̱͚̗̺̖͙̹̩͖̠̯̻̣̟̪̟̲͓͈͍͕͎͎̗̫̰̰͓͚̰͕͓̞͔͖̗͎͇̱̹̻̱͖͇͇̤͔̹̪̼͈͎̫̥͖̫͔̜̹̘̹͉̠̰͈̮͓͈̱̤͎̟̣̟̼̼̤̮͎̖̠̮͕̦̲͈̳͕̹͇̗̘̦̻̤̙̖̳̖̦̫̳̼̓̒̉̂̓̀̓̒̆͋́͒̽̎̓̆͆̓͆̾̍̆̀̂͛̐̆̽̎̐̈́͗̇͒͛̀̌́̏̅̇̂̔̆͛̔̽̎̃̑̅̌̀͆̿̂̈́̾͒͑̅́͋̉̿͛́̍͛͗̔͗̄̂̓͊̾͋̇̽́̂́̐̆͐̊̈͒̃̈͊̾̊̒̌̀̾̆̊̓́̃̋̈́̔̋̋͆͛̐́͑̏̾͑̐̌̐̓̀͂́̄̅̃̏̇̃̄̐̀̈̓̏͌̊͗́͌͋̄̚͘͘̕̚̕͘̕͘̚̕͘̚͘̕͜͜͜͜͝͠͠͠͝͝͝͠͠͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅ⃤̴̸̸̵̵̷̵̵̷̶̷̸̶̷̸̸̸̡̡̧̡̨̢̧̡̧̢̨̡̢̡̛̛̦͉̩̘̖̻̠̜̙͖͇̘̹̱̲̺̺̰͙̘̘͚̞͙̺̺̻͇̥͉͕̟̘͈̙̭͇̪͈̭̭̩̘͚̪̹͎͖̤͙̜̬̫̼̖̟̼͎̤̱͕̞̩̟͉͔̩͚̤̪̱̳̗͙̭̪͓̬̪͉̫̦̟͙̙̰̜̼͙̞̲̗̞̮͈̤̫̝̩̬̖͇̹̬̦̼͕͓̦̖̰͉̮͉̲͔̗̜͖̭̟͍̣͎̙̘̰̥͇̟͇͎̘̖͔̞̭̭̮͈̲͉̞̲̣̗͈͇͉͙̹͓̪͎͔͋̈́͌͑̆̓́̓̏̔͆̍͑͌͆̈͑̽̓̒̌̾͑͑̈́͋̿͒́̇̄̔͗͊͒̾͛͗̍͂͑̈́̏̒̒̐̑̌̓̈́̆͌̅̏͌̉́́̋̊͌̎̐̋̈̄̐̀̐͋̈́̾̄͂͐̐̈͊͛͆͒͑̾̋̆̑͌͂̀̽̎̎̏͛̈́̏͌͗͐́̈̍̊̚̕̕̕̕̚̚̚̕͘͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝͠͠͠͝ͅͅ⃣̵̴̷̷̶̸̴̴̸̷̷̴̸̢̧̡̨̨̨̢̧̧̛̛̣̘̼̬͔̺͉͔̩͖̬̲̠̟̹̼͉̜͍͙͈̤̱͖̹̘̮̭̬̣̱̜̘̝̤̪̮̥̪͓͉̲͔͕͇̮͈̥̺̭͎̠̼̞͙̜̘̜̟̬̙̻̻͇͇͙̞͓̝̹̗͙̳̗̱̰̰̩̩̟͙̣̀̒͌̄̓̉̑̐̀͂͗̿̔̒̈́̄̆̒̓̊͋̉͑̌̀͋͐̎̑̀̒̍͑́̊̒͒͆̐̅͋̄̀̈̌̇̀̍̍̔̐̔̍̽͋̀̀̀̇̏̇͌̽̋̽͗̃̍͗̀̂̈̇̊̽͒͆̚͘͘̕͜͝͝ͅͅͅbee

    Rest in Peace, I'm sure you'll realize you have been ⃦̸̶⃘̵̵̧̧̧̡̛̭̮̲̦͉̪̺̟̬̺͕̤̟̹͚͎̖̦͉͔̼̘͕̺̣̺͔̣̠̟̤̬̜̘̮̱̗̜͇̫̥̅̈́͌⃧̒͆͋͆͗̽̈́̿⃐́̀̿̀̋̽̑̓͂̒̚̕̚̕͘͜ momentarily.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (5 children)

    Guess you will need some kind of face shield from now on.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 5 months ago (4 children)

    The worst part is last summer I bought a bunch of bright colored balaclavas to protect from sunburn. Bees? Who needs bee protection

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (3 children)

    Am I missing the point that the balaclava could have also prevented the bee's demise?

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Maybe. It would have prevented it going into my mouth and me swallowing it, and possibly it setting up a little nest in my sinuses. The bee chose to be eaten. I did not choose to eat it. It was like, antivegan. I don't know the right word.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    if you can’t sing while working out

    Then you just found your pace. You should be able to hold a conversation, not sing.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 5 months ago (2 children)

    disagreed, but i'm a vocalist. i should be able to sing. normal people should be able to hold a conversation.

    also, this is advice i got from a high school running coach who took all of his teams to state and won every year, so are you sure?

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago* (1 child)

    I think we’re probably talking about the same threshold rather and disagreeing about semantics

    Maybe your coach was teaching just able to sing and what I have trained is just barely unable to sing

    if you’re special you’re special though, as you said you’re a vocalist who throats bees 🤷

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Careful, now. That sort of thing killed a billionaire recently.

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