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[–] 128 points 5 months ago (16 children)

the biggest human penis on earth. maybe the Serpent was packing

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  • [–] 70 points 5 months ago (8 children)

    The Serpent actually was Adams penis and I have no idea where I’m going with this.

    😆 1
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  • [–] 36 points 5 months ago (4 children)

    Neither did the drug addict who wrote Genesis

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  • [–] 11 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    Hey now!

    There were at least three drug addicts!

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  • [–] 8 points 5 months ago (4 children)

    Hadn't ever really thought about a snake's penis, until today.

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  • [–] 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    *Penises.

    A hemipenis (pl.: hemipenes) is one of a pair of intromittent organs of male squamates (snakes and lizards).[1][2][3] Hemipenes are usually held inverted within the body, and are everted for reproduction via erectile tissue.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemipenis

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  • [–] 69 points 5 months ago (9 children)

    "If Man is made in God's image, does that mean God has a functioning penis?" is a fun question to ask biblical literalists.

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  • [–] 48 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    And a bellybutton

    Which implies that god was birthed

    So, by whom?

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  • [–] 16 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Can God create a penis so heavy he can’t lift it?

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago

    Image search "Yahweh and his Asherah". Back when he was chill, Him and his best bud barely had a complete outfit between them. (Then his gf/sis ran off with his buddy, and the rest is human history /jk.)

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  • [–] 38 points 5 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 26 points 5 months ago

    Caine: well...

    Lilith: Im stuck in a cave stepson.

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  • [–] 9 points 5 months ago

    And don't forget it was handcrafted by God to perfection.

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  • Eve invented wood working out of frustration.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    There were no male horses or elephants?

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  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago

    "I'm literally made out of one of your bones! And you STILL can't find it?"

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago

    It's also the tightest pussy...

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago

    But does he eat you out, Eve?

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago

    But I'm a grower not a shower!

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago

    Also the smallest....

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago

    Damn, no wonder the snake had such an easy time tempting her.

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  • [–] 0 points 5 months ago

    Yes and I'm hungry. Fetch me a sandwich

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