You’re an adult and he is 6…his brain isn’t developed enough to understand this concept…don’t take it personally.

I'm sorry you're getting some dismissive comments. I'm a trans parent of a 4-year-old, so I understand how hard this must be.

I'm fortunate enough to still be married to my daughter's other parent, but I can tell you that if both parents aren't be aligned on how your child should refer to you, it's going to be very difficult and confusing for them.

Because of this situation, above all, give your son some grace. He is going through something very challenging and confusing at a pivotal stage of his development. Divorce is really hard on a kid, even the ones that go "smoothly" (my parents got divorced what I was ~12, so I know first-hand). It does seem likely that he's getting mixed messages from his parents, so be patent with him and just focus on being the best mom you can to him.

It's okay to gently correct him, but don't press the issue too much, or you'll risk making it worse by placing additional emotional burden on it. Something like, "I identify as a woman, and it hurts my feelings when people call me 'he'," is plenty.

You simply aren't in the position to compete with the amount of time his other mom has to sway his opinion, so don't try. Just be consistent, be gentle, and make the best of the time you get with him. Hopefully one day he will come around once he becomes more capable of forming his own opinions.

At the end of the day, your guiding light should be to do what's best for your child. Don't try to convince people you are right. Focus on trying to do the right thing.

It is very possible your child will grow up and be unfathomably remorseful (and possibly angry at his birth mom for the brainwashing and manipulation). There will be no way he can ever, in his own ledger, make up for this cruelty to you.

So treat him as that future person. Treat him with kindness, respectfulness, and quasi-infinite tolerance knowing full well this is just a temporary psychosis, jarring and shitty as it is.

If he doesn't later question it and regret it, then with all due respect he is not your child as he does not have your actual presence in his life any capacity--not even that of a clinic sperm donor. You'd be making it your problem, forever flailing at windmills.

Stay strong.

Actual tips and ideas/suggestions:
Do stuff with your son that's really laid back and fun and popular. Doing so shows him that you're cool and nonchalant and helps him to come away from the hijacked neurons and states of confusion and uncertainty. Be the cool unflappable parent that's in the know for what's cool and fun and awesome for kids. If you're having trouble even getting to that rapport point, idk what to say because it hinges on the specifics of your interactions or him/you of which I'm ignorant.

I understand this sucks. A lot. And you are probably right that the birth mother is influencing your child. But you can’t let it get to you and you can’t let you anger towards it (and the birth mother) show.

Unfortunately, it seems your child is stuck between his two parents. He will most likely lash out, now and in the future. And it will hurt.

I don’t have a lot of advice, just some support to give. Don’t let it get to you. Your kid loves you and you love him. Acceptance (yours towards whatever he say and will say) is fundamental even in the face of anger and rejection. You are also right that with only two hours a week there is little to do. I wish you all the best.

This issue is probably very confusing for a six year old. It is not fair to expect him to process it easily especially when his birth mother is not on board with it. It seems like professional child psychology help might be useful but that again requires collaboration from the birth mom. So it seems like convincing her is the key.

Children are challenging even for an emotionally stable person, and it looks like you are a far cry from stable if this very fact upsets you and you have hard difficulties with the mother. Don’t let this ruin the time you can have with your son, it’s not the names he calls you what matters. In time he could understand, but as another commenter wrote, the concept is way too much for a child to understand. Taking your anger towards the mother just makes things worse, no child should suffer the quibbles of their carers.

There are a lot of reasons kids will say things to upset others. He's probably having as hard of a time as you are with the whole situation. Try calmly correcting him, without escalating. If he continues, you can say "we're finished talking about that, let's play xyz...". If the statement doesn't get attention (positive or negative), he'll probably move on. Good luck!

You're taking a 6-year old's words too seriously and it's coming off as bizarre.