We also have "it goes past my ass" in German

Actually, all six of these are English.

Number 4 should be: It can rust my ass.

I shit on it with a high-arcing trajectory. Hungarian (nagy ívben szarok rá)

Danish: it concerns me [to the extent of(?)] a cardboard-duck / harvest-flower

(Det rager mig en papand / høstblomst)

"My dick hurts" (Croatian)

"I shat" - Brazilian Portuguese

Well... Hmm... The Dutch one would be better translated to:

"It can rust to my ass!"

Not really. Greek and various translations across the region: "I write it on my balls."

Edit: "To my balls" also works.

We also have an actual german word for that, in addition to the phrases conveying similar meanings:

Egal.

Meaning something is irrelevant, does not matter, can be disregarded. So, something i give zero fucks about would be something that ist mir (scheiß)egal. Add swear words to your liking for emphasis.

In Italian "Chi se ne frega?" meaning "Who jerks off on it?". "Me ne frego" ("I jerk off on it") was something Mussolini used to say.

I feel like there would be some fucks given in the Greek situation...

Italian has a few that might be hard to translate:

Fottesega: "fucks a handjob/saw"? This one I reckon might be really difficult to translate but "fotte" means "fucks" (the verb, not the noun), and "sega" is both a saw and a handjob so it's anyone's guess how to translate it.

We also have "m'importa 'na sega" or "I care a handjob/saw". This is easier to translate, and I love hearing it in Tuscany accent, top notch.

Also, Spanish has some other: You can change the cucumber with a pepper bell (pimiento) and works the same.

There's also "Me importa tres cojones" or "I care three balls". It's specifically three, because, you see? The word "cojones" is probably the one with most meanings in our language, it has to be three because it's the number for showing an extremely low value thing.

Can someone tell me the french version of number 3?

The Spanish one is primarily from Spain. You hardly hear it used in latin America, but it is still well understood. How the venerable cucumber became synonymous with "worthless", I do not know.

My Spanish speaking friends and family use "...no me importa un carajo" which is close to "...do not care a fuck", which is the same vibe as "don't give a fuck". The word "carajo" is very flexible, like fuck, as is "cabrón" which technically means cuck but is often used in many ways both negative and positive, depending on context.

"zero fucks given" means "I don't care" but is a) profane and b) carries extra connotations. "das ist mir wurst" isn't crude in the same way at all, and I don't think it carries the same implication of keeping cool.

Translating idioms is hard and they rarely translate exactly, but especially if you pick an idiom which is already a niche way of saying something that there are more common ways to express.

The Finnish genius for language

Anyone who knows Japanese wanna weigh in?

I know maybe 3 dozen words in Japanese and the best I can do is "Nandemonaiya" which is something like "never mind" but could also maybe be used to say "forget about it". Japanese is a super polite language though, so "it doesn't matter" may be about as good as it gets? Also, Japanese tends to throw nouns out to mean a thing is like that noun, like you might call a homebody an "otaku" (house, as in they never leave it) (commonly used to refer to anime fans, as in they stay in all day watching anime) so maybe the word for "shit" or "garbage." Shit, as in just saying the curse (like "dammit") would be kuso (usually the vowels are silent, so it just sounds like "hiss" but with a K (but not "Kiss" if that makes any sense). But "kuso" is more like "dammit," like I said, I wouldn't use it to say I don't care, more that I'm annoyed and bothered.

In Poland, in addition to various versions of 'I shit on it', we also have "koło chuja mi to lata", which roughly means "it flies around my dick". The translation doesn't give it justice, but I can't come up with anything better

"It touches one ball without moving the other" is a well-known remix to the french one :)

Other french favorites: "Je m'en tamponne le coquillard" --> I dab my anus with it "Je m'en badigeonne le nombril avec le pinceau de l'indifférence" --> I paint my navel with the brush of indifference about it

Question: For the ones involving dicks and balls, do women typically also use these phrases? Is it one of those things that has just become somehow less-gendered over time despite the content?

Spanish: It sucks me one ball

Italian:

• I don't care a d*ck
• I don't care a dried fig
• I don't care a cabbage

I'm reminded of a line I heard somewhere with a French guy with an accent saying "I spit in your face."

I didn't realize the French were so... Raccoony