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[–] 50 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Played the trump card early.

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  • [–] 12 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    I mean....it's a fairly recent addition. In fact I think you may have coined it right here.

    Also, I'm stealing that.

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  • [–] 40 points 9 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 17 points 9 months ago (4 children)

    I remember in hs, freshman year, physical ed was a required course, and I was one of the guys who hated it. We'd run like 4 laps around the track, then up and down the bleachers, almost every day for a 'warm up'.

    So me and some old faces, some new, start lazy-assing around the track. Technically we are jogging, just. Like 6 of us. PE was our first class of the day and it was regular that someone didn't have time that morning and would have to go take a shit. Coach was always annoyed but what you gonna do.

    Well one day, we are jogging, and... Emmanuel? 'mini' if I remember right. He starts making noises, like, devastating noises. We are on like lap 2 of 4 and we slow down, even for our usual pace, so we can all stick together.

    And then it happens.

    He makes this wet, sloshing noise, and we fucking stop. And we all look at him, and he said 'oh fuck, I think I sharted'. Omfg the mix of hilarity, fear, and pity, as he starts waddling down towards the building, and the coach is like 'the fuck' and is then informed of the situation. He was not annoyed that day, not that time.

    Mini, if you're reading this, you seemed like a cool dude. And you left a great memory in the brains of several that day.

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  • [–] 8 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    This post negates every single one of all those other posts that say "don't worry, nobody ever remembers that one really embarrassing thing you did back in school."

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    The closing paragraph kind of undercuts that though. Like people may remember, but they'll think you're cool.

    The takeaway is clearly to shart in public if you want people to look up to you.

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  • [–] 31 points 9 months ago
    [–] 22 points 9 months ago

    Gambled and lost.

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  • [–] 13 points 9 months ago (7 children)

    I'm not from Britain but I've heard the phrase "touching cloth" from over there.

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  • [–] 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    Is it touching cloth more like when you really really need to go and have been holding it for a long time?

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  • [–] 11 points 9 months ago (5 children)

    Fart with gravy??? Oh man. Please never invite me to Thanksgiving dinner at hour house!!! At the very least my potatoes will be DRY!

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  • [–] 6 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    "Péter au jus" for a French spin on it.

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    Funnily enough, Peter is the German version of Pierre.

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Both names come from the same word (Petrus or Petros meaning rock). As you might expect, German "fist" and French "péter" for "fart" are distant cousins too: "pezd-" -> "fistiz" -> "vist" -> "fist" or "pezd-" -> "peditum" -> "pét" -> "péter".

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    [–] 7 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    It "was a bit wet", or "I sharted"

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    [–] 7 points 9 months ago

    A Trump press conference

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    We call it a wet fart, or say it came with the shaft

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    The act of following through

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    I sharted in maths once, had to walk all the way home holding my wet trousers away from my arse. Good times!

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    [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    Pète-sauce (gravy fart) in Québec

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago* (2 children)
  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    Salio premiado

    It came with a prize

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    they farted with splashes/droplets

    (kinda, hard to translate, the original is "s-a bășit cu stropi")

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    That was a wetty 

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    "it came with the shaft" (shaft as in the stick of a shovel or a broomstick)

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    My kid said "poop toot" once.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago

    A stuffed fart or fart with a tail.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago