This is an update to this post.

This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It's pretty clearly a bribe to the Trump family.

We're going to disrupt the big premiere weekend by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it's high in the results. Maybe #1!

The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money. (Fun fact: It's free because of YOU, the users of A Boring Dystopia. After your comments on the last post I reached out to the author, and they agreed to make the book free this weekend.)

Currently, the book ranks #29 in Amazon search results for Melania. But all the other Melania results seem pretty weak (lol), so we can pull this off pretty easily. We just need people to:

  1. "Buy" the book (it's free)
  2. Share this post and get other people to "buy" the book.

That's it.

Here's a link to the book, in case your Lemmy client stripped out the links above: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HN9XC1H

Please share and we can celebrate as an erotic novel about a bat monster Melania Trump becomes a higher and higher search result on Amazon!

all 79 comments

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[–] 116 points 9 months ago (6 children)

I can positively recommend some other bedside reading from the same author:

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  • [–] 47 points 9 months ago* (4 children)

    wait is she a couch animorph

    that's not even a good couch thats an ikea special

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  • [+] 63 points 9 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 40 points 9 months ago*

    I now own a digital copy of this book.

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  • [–] 27 points 9 months ago (4 children)

    If I were an Amazon exec I'd hope for this. The bribe has already done its work and if no one sees they film there will be fewer complaints and bad reviews written about it.

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  • [–] [S] 22 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    Kinda think "The #2 Amazon result is an erotic novel where she's a bat monster" is probably not a good look

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    The president is a rapist. It hasn't been a bad look for half of the country.

    But go ahead, give amazon your emails and data like they don't already manipulate rankings.

    I hope you feel you accomplished something.

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  • [–] 25 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Lol

    Her husband gets all the attention. But she has something to hide, too. Melania Trump had it all. A former model living luxuriously high above New York City, she had her every whim catered to and her every want met, far from the public eye. But when her famous husband becomes President of the United States and leaves for Washington, her quiet life is thrown into disarray. Now, surrounded by young, strapping Secret Service agents and pursued by the cunning and handsome FBI director James Comey, Melania must work to keep everything from falling apart. Because Melania has secrets of her own –– deadly secrets –– and no one yet knows how far she'll go to protect them. "The best erotic supernatural political thriller I've read this week." - Christine Sims, author of Taken by the T-Rex "The Hunger Games meets 50 Shades of Grey … this was everything I didn’t know I was looking for in a book!" - Dani Fankhauser, author of Shameless: How I Lost My Virginity and Kept My Faith "I don't know what this is, but I'm totally down for this shit." - Jinn from Mercy Bar

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  • [–] 44 points 9 months ago* (1 child)

    I got my copy, but this also looks like a great option.

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  • [–] 21 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    Melania film? You mean the Melania porn film? The Melania porn film I just made up? That Melania porn film? Sorry but I can't really discuss the nonexistent Melania porn film at this time.

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  • [–] 23 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    Melania was doing lesbian porn in 1996. Stormy Daniels was a stripper in 1996 and started doing porn six years later.

    We have every reason to believe that there is a Stormy Daniels/Melania Trump movie out there somewhere.

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  • [–] 15 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    God dammit I can't even make up wild enough lies to miss the insane truth.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    After the 2016 election, the NY Times assembled a panel of TV creators. 'The West Wing,' 'House of Cards', 'Scandal,' and other political dramas were represented.

    All the creators said the same thing; if they'd had a fictional candidate say the things Donald Trump had said in real life, every advertiser and network executive would demand that the character be shown as hated by all Americans, and lose the election in a landslide.

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  • [–] 20 points 9 months ago

    As the mod of the bat community, I heartily approve of this effort. Long live erotic bat monsters!

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  • [–] 32 points 9 months ago

    I am going to do this, but I assume Amazon has a way of pushing its promoted content to the top.

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  • [–] 15 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Melania is the worst first lady we ever had in the US. She is at base, the most uninteresting person. She is supposed to be on "the Five" tomorrow. I hope they ask her uncomfortable questions but I bet it will mostly be softball bullshit questions. She sucks and is unintelligent, just greedy and an Epstein operative/prop, as it is how she met the Orange Asshole. I hope she remains stuck with him because those who marry for money should be required to earn it.

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  • [–] 15 points 9 months ago

    I'm doing my part!

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  • [–] 15 points 9 months ago
    [–] 14 points 9 months ago (6 children)

    I'm sure like 2 people were planning to watch it

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  • [–] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 9 points 9 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 10 points 9 months ago*

    I just had an epiphany. i was on a team that made a film my senior year of high school. it was a little high school short. i mean, scott ran a good crew it was high quality for high school short but it was still a 30 minute high school short. i ran the camera and my forearm also played The Lunch Lady (uncredited). We sold it to HBO. I don't know our viewing statistics or how much it sold for (this was our buddy Scott's dream, we were just along for the ride and to help him get there), we won a handful of film festivals and scott no joke got an award at Sundance but there were about 400 people at our premiere. I can now say I no joke beat the Melania movie and that gives me a little hit of dopamine, maybe a big one let's see how this goes.

    every kid on youtube is a more successful creator if they've earned back enough money to pay for their webcams omg.

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  • [–] 13 points 9 months ago

    It's up to 11th place as of the writing of this comment.

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  • [–] 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

    is there a oooooo i just saw forbidden loveseat

    is there a chuck tingle we could boost too?

    edit: excuse me Two time Hugo Finalist and Goodreads nominee Dr. Chuck Tingle.

    if you are Mssr. Boehninger, this is the best strategy to sell books i tell you hwhat

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  • [–] 35 points 9 months ago (12 children)

    They already stopped people from buying it, I guess.

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  • [–] 15 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    You can't get Kindle books on the Amazon app, you need to go thru a browser or the Kindle app

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  • [–] [S] 8 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    I'm hearing mixed things. Do you have a Kindle? It might not show up unless you've set one up. Maybe that's it?

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  • [–] 12 points 9 months ago

    "Melania d" gives zero search suggestions so it seems like they've already quashed this

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  • [–] 11 points 9 months ago

    What has that fluff every done other than spit out crotch fruit for a monster?

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  • [–] 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 10 points 9 months ago

    For search rankings, you would have to Google it and then click on the right link

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  • [–] 10 points 9 months ago*

    Yay! That was fun. More like this, please.

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  • [–] 10 points 9 months ago

    The maga cucks will spin this into a good thing. “Look how much people love her, they are writing stories about her.”

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  • [–] 18 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    This is a fun idea, but unfortunately Amazon's search results are pay to play. (That's why they're always so bad.)

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  • [–] 9 points 9 months ago
    [–] 9 points 9 months ago

    LOVE getting new books. Thanks.

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  • [–] 9 points 9 months ago

    Purchased, thanks!

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  • [–] 7 points 9 months ago

    Got both LOL

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  • [–] 6 points 9 months ago
    [–] 6 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    I can see it but can’t buy in Brazil :(

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  • [–] 6 points 9 months ago

    Don't forget to 5 star it! This author's stuff is brilliant: Forbidden Loveseat: A JD Vance & Usha Novel

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  • [–] 6 points 9 months ago (5 children)

    That she's a manananggal makes it even funnier 🤣🤣🤣

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    It's a folk monster from the Philippines. A person who at night splits their torso in half in search of people to eat (or was it the one that eats fetuses from pregnant women?).

    You kill it by burning the lower half before the upper half can return to it.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    I've been thinking that ever since I saw her sitting next to her obviously stroke-afflicted husband at that failed Army extravaganza on his birthday, looking like she was just waiting to snatch his soul. There's even a mention of her in the Wikipedia page:

    In the erotic novel Melania: Devourer of Men (2018), Melania Trump is depicted as a manananggal who must keep her identity hidden after her husband becomes President of the United States. The novel has been discussed in several podcasts.

    It's definitely a look that suits them both, lol.

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    it was money laundering pure and simple.

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  • [–] 6 points 9 months ago

    Don't buy it don't download it. Give it zero time.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    Getting an Amazon account?

    No, thank you

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    Amazon Prime Video and Amazon the online store are two separate apps. This will have no impact unless it’s googled, and we push the book to the top. But simply searching “melania movie” will filter out the book.

    We’re also way too small of a community (the fediverse at large even) to even push that kind of thing to impact any SEO.

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