So, if both American and Dutch parents value independence, why do Dutch kids seem so much happier? I wonder if the key difference lies in how both sets of parents understand what freedom for kids looks like.

“Dutch parenting is all about raising self-sufficient kids,” Tracy told me. “My older two (ages 12 and 14) bike more than 10 kilometers (6 miles) daily to school since there are no school buses.

“If a teacher cancels a class, students just have free time instead of a substitute. My 14-year-old had two canceled classes this morning and simply stayed home until noon. This would be a logistical nightmare for schools and parents if we didn’t just expect our kids to sort it out.”

Dutch parenting, according to the close to a dozen parents in the Netherlands I spoke with, emphasizes allowing children a freedom of movement that many American kids don’t have. When I was in Haarlem and Amsterdam, bikes and little kids on bikes were everywhere.

Good article. We moved to an open concept neighborhood (low open fences, not “privacy” style) and the kids have a lot of movement around the neighborhood since it’s safe, and it has a lot of trails, wide sidewalks, and bike lanes. Yes, it’s more affluent. They’ve definitely been a lot happier than our last house where privacy fences were everywhere. They made friends a lot faster and seem to know everyone.

In suburban North America... steps outside you have nothing but roads with cars going 50km/h+, no shops or cafes to walk to because of zoning laws, maybe a small park a 15 minute walk away.

You have to have your parents take you places, you cannot go anywhere alone. In the USA you also have to worry about potential shooters because people play fast and loose with gun laws there.

It’s hard to overstate the impact cars have on childhood. As a parent I’m not worried about some rando snatching my kid, I’m worried about someone hitting them with a car. There are so many places in the US where it is unsafe to walk, and there’s a reason why our traffic deaths are going up while the rest of the world’s are going down.

I’m active in trying to make my city a place where kids can have the freedom to explore and grow, but it definitely feels like a “planting a tree the shade of which you will never know” situation.

But seriously, wear a helmet. I just saw an elderly dude crash with a young lady, both on bikes, today in Harderwijk. He was bleeding from his head, and he wasn’t even going fast

Stroopwafel

Bike Culture > car culture

yeah, this is a direct result of the greatest victory against car culture by Dutch moms in the 70s. Car brain makes you dependent on a whole compact of ideology, industry and city planning that keeps people dependent on cars. You are only a "full human" when you get your driver's licence and can afford fuel (priced according to whatever war is going on in the world at the moment).

My high school classmate Cal commented on this anxiety once when we were talking about how Gen Z apparently parties less. “People are too scared for their kids to go and do stuff, and I think, as a result (we) as a generation are too scared to do stuff now.”

This summer, consider letting your kids walk to the neighborhood park without you. Or give them money to buy an ice cream cone without your supervision. Encourage them to invite a friend. Let them have some physical freedom, and the memories that come with it.

And experience getting CPS called on you for child neglience. Heck, parents have been dragged into court because their school kid died in a traffic accident. The US is quite insane when it comes to deal with kids.

I really resonate with this article as a parent and really want to give more independence but I think car brain really does get in the way. We cycle to school and people have bigger cars on smaller roads, don't give enough space, park dangerously and just don't seem to care about cyclists or pedestrians. Even cycling home today by myself I almost got knocked off so how can I let my child face that by themselves? It's a vicious circle them that more people drive and the problem gets worse. Even going to the local park we have to cross or cycle on roads at some point. Most of the other parents drive, even if living really close. I've also had parents "telling me off" or commenting for letting him cycle on the road in front of me. Feel like I can't win.

Related video