TempoTom: Tesco Speedrun https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqxtqKzoINmKbhFoBzcAfDVQah7OuvYMO

God forbid you need to check out (only one checkout lane open bc it's so early) right behind one of those old people as they take about 65 centuries to pull exact change out of their asses

I'm one of those old people. We know what's up.

make sure to speak to the manager or other person in charge when you find empty shelves

that will usually get some attention on it, the bread and dairy isles get beat up the most because they are usually only worked once a day unless someone complains (from my experience). The bread isle was my space when I moved on and it was almost impossible to keep filled because a bunch was vendor controlled but I always had store brand or generic stuff to fill the empty spaces before I'd leave for the day

someone was supposed to face it a few times a day but rarely did that happen unless the manager noticed or someone complained

polite customer complaints are powerful motivation in my experience

We shouldn't jump straight into violence, so how about after 5 minutes we're allowed to beat them with anything from their cart, our cart, or the complementary whiffle ball bat?

Could just also have been outright fear. Waaay too many people did this for computers in the 90's and 00's They hit something they don't understand and they just freeze.

I had this nurse out of state. She had worked her entire life on paper. Xeroxed forms, filled them out, filed them. She was only in her 30's. We were a big healthcare company, and she started working for us. We had a strong need to have things digitized. She had just convinced her coworker to key in all her forms after she took care of them, but the situation was untenable. Her boss called me, we need her to have her own computer so she can learn to use it. AOK, I configured and mailed one right away.

Boss calls me back, a week later. so and so can't get on. OH OK!, what's the error? You'll need to talk to her. That's fine can you put her on? Ohh um she just left. K, can you have her call me when she gets back and we'll sort it out right away.

A day goes by, Two, Boss calls me, So and So still can't get on. She never called me, yeah let me put her on the line.

[muffled argument]

[long silence]

soandso: meekest voice hello

me: HI! let's get you on your laptop, this should only take a second.

soandso: mumbles

me: i missed that, what was that?

[long silence]

me: I hear you can't get on your laptop, let's fix that. Did your password just not work? where did you get stuck?

[long silence]

soandso: mumbles

me: I can't hear you, if you speak up a touch, we'll get you going

[long silence]

soandso: almost a whisper I don't know what to do

Me: quiet and reserved, shooting for soothing ok, that's not a problem, we'll go through step by step until it works, do you have the laptop in front of you?

soandso: a whisper yes

Me: is it open?

soandso: a whisper no

Me: ok, lets open it up, do you see a button on the front, you'll need to press that and pull up on the lid

[long silence]

soandso: light sobbing it's still in the box

me: [internally: JESUS] ok, no proble, let's get that box open

90 minutes, in an hour and half, we got the box open, got the laptop out, opened it up, too a 5 minute break to sob and then re-collect herself. found the power button (this took 10 minutes alone) it was on the upper right of the keyboard, she made me walk her up from control, to shift to enter and so on. It came on, it was already setup for their wifi, all she had to do was enter the username and password which i had emailed to her boss and asked her to write it on a sticky.

She finally was on the desktop

soandso: morose now what

me: We're done, you'll need to work with your boss now to find out how to do your actual work on it, but you should be able to get in now.

She lasted another week before they fired her.

She was an RN, she knew medical coding, and she drove, she was just terrified of learning new shit

Gas pumps no, grabbing a bag of chips from the gas station yes.

Sit down restaurants no, fast food restaurant yes*

*unless he only does drive thru

There's one bird in their head that's half alive just bouncing around like the DVD logo.

I worked in grocery stores when I was younger, not going to give away my age, but I will tell you that people wrote a lot more checks then.

The number of times I would get to the end of the transaction and tell somebody the total and they would slowly pull the checkbook out of their purse or pocket, then other questions, do you have a pen?,what's today's date?, Oops I wrote it out to the wrong store, I need to start over.

I was doing my chess puzzles

pretty sure the average iq is always 100...

Maybe they just have less lead in the water and better education.

I live in the US. I go to the grocery store a few times a week, I'm a small trips kinda guy, and it's close to my home. Nine out of ten trips are fantastic, but every so often you just come across a person who parks their cart sideways in an aisle, or parks next to one of the stupid fucking displays they put in the already-too-thin aisles. This is excluding, of course, folks who take stuff out of their cart and leave it anywhere, because either they don't realize (or are to embarrassed, for some reason) that you can just leave it with a person up at the register. And at the self-checkouts I do, from time to time, see someone with clearly more than 20 items, though the store folks are good about not letting that happen.

I never go to Walmart, so I'm going to assume things are much worse there.

Yeah, I can remember one or two specific instances of people choosing the worst place to stop and have a conversation, but the reason I remember them is because they happen so infrequently. I might need to say "excuse me" every so often, or squeeze by someone who didn't leave a lot of space, but it's never inconvenient enough to warrant remembering.

Go to costco.

Extra cluster fuck challenge: go when they have samples.