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[–] 176 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (6 children)

I have kidnapped a head of state, join me at my luxury resort for details

This is the kind of shit my prez in tropico would do

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  • [–] 49 points 10 months ago (5 children)

    The only difference right now between tropico and the us is the size of the country.

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  • [–] 37 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Also Tropico isn't run by pedophiles.

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  • [–] 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    The Tropico president is also fuckable. Trump is only guillotinable.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    I wouldn't want to sully a beautiful guillotine with his viscera, just fucking shoot him in the back of the head and toss his corpse into the nearest hole to be devoured by insects.

    Actually, on second thought, forget the hole, we don't want to sully our beautiful insects with his viscera, just incinerate the corpse and toss the carbon ash into the nearest toxic waste dump.

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  • [–] 114 points 10 months ago* (2 children)

    “We captured someone in another country as per conjunction with US law enforcement”

    You just can’t make this shit up- but they did.

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  • [–] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 child)

    Worse, we kidnapped a head of state and his wife. As to the law enforcement thing, it means the DOJ collaborated on trumping up charges to make it sound legit.

    Also, framing it this way makes it sound like US police were involved, which will legitimize this with a great many Americans.

    "Must be a bad guy if the cops had him in their sights."

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  • [–] 91 points 10 months ago (6 children)

    Honestly how the fuck is any satire publication like the onion or similar still in business with the current state of reality???

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  • [–] 50 points 10 months ago (4 children)

    They changed business. They're not satirical anymore. They are oracles foreseeing the events of the next weeks.

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  • [–] 18 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    The change occurred about the time they put out the article on Gillette skipping 4 blades and going straight to 5.

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  • [–] 7 points 10 months ago* (1 child)

    I don't even know how they're still in business. I bought a cheap safety razor and a hundred pack of blades literally a decade ago now, and at the time still had a couple multiblade razor packs around. I haven't bought a razor in a decade. I'm maybe 2/5 of the way through my blade pack, and I think I'm finally on the last heads on the two multi-blade razors (because those only get used for my balls).

    the safety razor is just so much better for shaving your face

    tbf it does help that I don't shave my face completely and only shave at most twice a week

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    That makes me remember I think it was an ancient SNL bit about exactly that, a new gillette razor with 5 blades and a sixth phantom blade that comes close to touching the skin but doesn't quite. And then like three years later there were the 5 blade gillettes with the sixth edging blade on the back. The SNL skit called it. I think about that more than I probably ought to.

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  • [–] 144 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (10 children)

    It should be stressed how not-normal this is. Don't let the media tell you it's okay just because some people will be very happy. Maduro is a dictator that has murdered entire families. It's understandable. However, you can't kidnap the leader of another state because you don't like them. If so, it would be just as justifiable to kidnap Trump or Putin. This doesn't make the world safe and the best case scenario is that they install a leader that allows the US to rape Venezuela for it's resources while personally enriching Trump. The worse is civil war.

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  • [–] 32 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    At this point, I wouldn't mind if Mexico disappeared Trump and the chain of command.

    Trump is a threat to Americans who oppose him, it is very likely that he will attempt to murder people like AOC, Mamdani, and Mark Kelly in the years to come. Venezuelans, Californians, New Yorkers, there is no difference to him. So long as people defy his will or has something he can steal, he will assault them.

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  • [–] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    APnews.com, first sub-headline:

    FACT FOCUS: Trump repeats false claims as he discusses US raid to extract Venezuela’s president

    Calling bullshit up front and center is pretty bold for the AP and that says something.

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  • [–] 60 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    The military is NOT us law enforcement.

    You fat fucking tub of shit, and no amount of you saying it is will trick people into thinking so when you keep trying to use them as such inside the country.

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  • [–] 59 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    This is a fucking criminal act.

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  • [–] 45 points 10 months ago (64 children)

    I still don't understand how DJT was re-elected.

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  • [–] 41 points 10 months ago (19 children)

    People want evil, simple as that.

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  • [–] 19 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

    No they want bread and circus. But bread costed too much so here come the clowns.

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  • [–] 12 points 10 months ago (15 children)

    Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

    MAGAts are not as evil as they are stupid.

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  • [–] 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (10 children)

    I have never really seen that postulate as practical in the real world. I prefer my own version (EDIT: addendum; failed to describe properly):

    Never attribute to stupidity that which is adequately explained by monetary profit.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (8 children)

    That explains the position of the higher-ups in the party, but the voter? The voter is not profit-driven, the voter is just fucking stupid.

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  • [–] 8 points 10 months ago (6 children)

    And racist and hateful, and lastly they’re stupid and lazy. Go back to football you dumb cunts you’re fucking up the entire world

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  • [–] 6 points 10 months ago (4 children)

    They are racist because they are too stupid to understand that immigrants are helping their economy much more than they are hurting it.

    They are hateful because they are too stupid. They hate what they can't comprehend (which is pretty much everything outside their small bubble).

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (3 children)

    Stupid doesn’t automatically lead to hateful

    That has to be taught or trained in, which is the issue I take with these hateful trash “people”

    They’re monsters who create monsters who vote for monsters

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    It doesn't lead automatically to hateful, it however helps a lot. It's much easier to turn a stupid person into a hateful one than to do it with an educated person.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    OK, sure whatever.

    The point is these voters aren’t just ignorant, they’re behaving in a way they were embarrassed about 10-15 years ago, and now they’re “out.” They can not and will not be given a pass that they’re just “not bright enough to be civil.” Fuck that to the moon

    They’re despicable awful hateful people who leverage their authority to hurt innocent people. Period

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  • Oh but I don't excuse them because they aren't bright, I'm just saying that they are ignorant awful assholes thanks to their stupidity. I wish them the worst and I'm hoping for an awful fall of their country so that the rest of the world can have some peace.

    I root for anything that could harm the magats as much as the next guy!

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

    If your choices and actions consistently hurt other people, and you refuse to listen when people point it out and change your ways, then you're evil. No matter how stupid you are.

    There are plenty of dumb and/or ignorant people who are kind and generous and who are not fucking bigots who make life hell for everyone around them.

    Edit, typo

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  • [–] 18 points 10 months ago (7 children)

    Because the Dems ran a lackluster campaign that promised more of the same, telling everyone that the economy is doing great while everyone is struggling. Orange man at least offered hope that things would change. People NEED hope. And with trust of the government at an all time low, with some serious money in media manipulation, this is what we get

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

    ... but how it was not obvious to all that orange man was lying, is the bit that gets me.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    Because people are struggling and don't donate time to stay informed from reliable sources. They see the story that is pushed to them by social media algorithms... which have been bought

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  • [–] -2 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Easier and more accurate answer - The Democrats ran a woman in a deeply misogynistic country

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    That didn’t help but the core issue there was Harris’s sharp pivot to the right.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 child)

    Yeah bringing out Cheney was a mistake but her policy platform never pivoted, just the PR stepped away from "identity politics" which all the dumbfuck both sidesers were (and still are) demanding from the Dems. Fuck the both sidesers and all the dipshits that use the term identity politics unironically.

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  • [–] 7 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    American voters had a choice between utterly corrupt oligarchy enablers and entertaining utterly corrupt oligarchy enablers. Are you not entertained?

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  • [–] 11 points 10 months ago (29 children)

    Because American voters preferred to have this than to have a woman president. For the second time.

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  • [–] 14 points 10 months ago (28 children)

    I don't think that's the correct take. Both times it was maintain status quo vs a disruptor. The status quo has been terrible for the majority of Americans so they were willing to take the risk on the disruptor. That's the same reason people split ticket voted for both Trump and AOC, they're both disruptors.

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago* (3 children)

    Oh yeah the status quo of green energy, massive infrastructure investments, supporting Ukraine, EVs, PACT act, drug price controls, marijuana pardons, student debt relief, etc. How dare they!!!!!

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago* (2 children)

    The pathetic support of Ukraine barely giving them enough to just hang in the fight. Drug prices for 4 drugs. Alleviating the symptom of student debt and ignoring the root problem. Ignoring housing affordability. Ignoring the growing wealth inequality. Add on to of that parading around Bush era conservatives... Yeah, the status quo that needs to be disrupted.

    It's not surprising that the DNC picking someone who dropped even before Iowa during the previous primaries was not a good strategy.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 child)

    Oh yeah supplying Ukraine with weapons and rallying all the allies to do the same is soooo much worse than Trump's "just surrender" policy. B-B-B both sides same!!!

    4 drugs? Just going off memory it was in the range of 10 or 12. So this is the point where I stop reading your lies.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago

    I'm not both siding anything. One side is significantly better as you have even shown. Biden only gave barely enough weapons at every stage of the war. He never gave enough for Ukraine to fight back, only enough to hold Russia off. Yes, far better than the just give up strategy, but not exactly something to be proud of. Which kind of sums up all of Biden's tenure.

    Lol, you're right it was 10 drugs. So successful a whole 10 drugs! When they announced that "success" the entire countries response was, "and?"

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (20 children)

    Total coincidence it was a woman versus a wildly unfit man both times that the women lost!

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  • [–] 8 points 10 months ago (17 children)

    Well, no. Both women were picked by the DNC and not by the voters.

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  • [–] 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    A fucking ham sandwich should've won against Trump. A man did.

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  • [–] 5 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Biden only won because of how badly Trump fumbled his Covid response. Anyone would have won against Trump in that specific election. In 2016 and 2024 the political climate was very different and the DNC chose basically the only candidates that would lose to Trump. Bernie was/is a disruptor with a big supportive base that could have beat Trump. In 2024 the person who polled the worst against Trump was Biden, the second worst was Harris, yet "unnamed democrat" dominated the polls. Yes, be mad at the voters, but also be mad at the DNC who sacrificed everyone's future to push the status quo instead of embracing real change despite the voters clearly signaling that's what they want.

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  • [–] 0 points 10 months ago

    Bernie couldn't beat Hillary, he didn't stand a chance. The whole idea that Bernie stood a chance against either Hillary or Trump was actual literal Russian propaganda. The only people that like Bernie don't vote, and the ones that do voted for Hillary because she stood a much better chance against Trump. It was never even a little bit close with Bernie, and before you go blah blah DNC collusion (which is also largely ruspublican agitprop) Bernie still would have lost soundly, the Democratic party voters were not going to nominate someone that isn't in the goddamn party. This also ignores the majority of Dem voters are neoliberals and think socialism is a dirty word. Bernie never fucking stood a chance. At all. Whatsoever.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (13 children)

    That's not how that works. The voters picked Hillary in 16 to run with the party nomination. The voters stuck with the incumbent, and when they dropped out due to health reasons the secondary stood in as is standard practice. If you've got an issue with it you should have fucking registered Dem and voted in the primaries like intelligent responsible civically engaged citizens do. Instead of bitching on the internet about shit you clearly don't understand.

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  • [–] -1 points 10 months ago (12 children)

    You're ignoring how the DNC used super delegates to sway the primary votes in 16. They also provided Clinton with the debate questions ahead of time. They did everything in their power to tip the scales toward Clinton. In 2020 they changed the primary order to favor Biden, discouraged people from running against him, and even considered cutting the primaries early. Again they did everything in their power to pick Biden. Then when Biden dropped, they had time to at least hold a vote at the convention, but instead they appointed Harris. Btw, I did vote in those primaries, I donated to the Sanders campaign too.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (11 children)

    Because Clinton was a member of the fucking party and Bernie wasn't. Like holy shit, of course they didn't want someone who isn't actually part of the party to be the party nominee. What the fuck are you all smoking that everyone ignores the fact Bernie was never going to win the Democratic nomination because he wasn't in the Democratic party. It's not complicated shit.

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  • [–] -1 points 10 months ago (10 children)

    Lol, okay so you do understand that the process was rigged and resulted in bad candidates that lost. I accept your apology.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (9 children)

    He lost because he wasn't a Democrat, why would Democrats vote for someone not in their party? If you wanted Bernie y'all should have registered and voted in the primary. There was no rigging, the lawsuits were dismissed, Bernie just overwhelmingly lost to Hillary because registered democratic party members voted overwhelmingly for Hillary. Bernie never stood a chance and the process was pretty well the same as it always was but idiots like you have a child's understanding of political processes. Did you even know the DNC is straight up a private non public organization? Because that's how political parties work.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago* (2 children)

    Yeah, Hillary won the old fashioned way: having the right endorsements, spending lots of money, and being a normal Democrat.

    If there was rigging it was in the 2020 Iowa Caucus. They wrecked the whole system to hand the win to a loser nobody.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago* (1 child)

    Yep.

    "The Democratic party endorses the Democratic party member for the Democratic party nominee instead of the guy that's not even part of our organization"

    Democratic party members: votes for Hillary.

    Idiots everywhere: "omg rigged"

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago*

    Cuomo still got tons endorsements despite running as an independent against a Democrat, so it's not as simple as just party loyalism. There's a core of the Democratic party which hates socialism and socialists, and would rather lose than let socialism win. That's not rigging, though. That's just the party leadership (and donors) steering the party.

    I fully expect a DSA candidate in 2028, so we'll see how the party reacts.

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  • [–] -1 points 10 months ago (5 children)

    There was no rigging as long as you ignore the rigging that I already discussed. Just because you say these things doesn't make them true.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (4 children)

    It's rigging in the same way that you're a genius, which is to say it isn't.

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  • [–] -1 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    The difference is, nobody has ever claimed I'm a genius because there isn't evidence for it. Meanwhile there is evidence of the rigging.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (2 children)

    What evidence? You can call it a ham sandwich but that won't make it fucking so. It wasn't rigging, it was standard dnc operating procedure. Lawsuits alleging rigging were dismissed as without cause because, and stay with me here, there wasn't rigging.

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  • [–] -1 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    I think this is coming down to a difference in how we would define rigging. I've already said how it was rigged. You're either going to continue to ignore it, or you just don't think that's rigging. Obviously you're never going to be convinced even with the evidence right in front of you. Enjoy living your life like that.

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  • [–] -3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    To be fair, none of the voters had proof that Trump was retarded when he was first elected... they were warned, and many suspected, but who was to say that monster couldn't successfully run a country. I saw who he really was and voted accordingly, But im just one person. Also, the whole Hillary/Bernie primary shit that I dont remember the details of. Also, Hillary Clinton was a weird robot.

    But for his second run, we had his whole first term as evidence of his incompetence. Despite the fact that Harris was a bummer of a candidate and a major misstep by the dems, we still had trumps first term as evidence of his inability to serve as president.

    What the fuck.

    If it truly is America wont vote for a woman (I honestly dont believe it, but i'm a dude so im probably blind to a lot of it)...and if it truly was the end of democracy for trump to win, why the fuck did they run Harris?

    What the fuck.

    I dont get it.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    We had decades of proof going back into the 80s that he was a cheap con man and a racist and a rapist. None of that was remotely new information, just a bunch of dumb fucks were like hurdur guy from apprentice.

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  • [–] -1 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    It is absolutely more correct than this disruptor bullshit, that's an excuse for stupid people to absolve themselves of the responsibility of being informed and engaged.

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