Will I ever stop feeling like I need to “prove” my trans-ness to myself? Like, I know that I am, but it’s that obnoxious intrusive thought “but what if you’re just faking?” that keeps coming back

This feels personal :P

I'm 100% able to reassure and affirm everyone.

Everyone except me. I'm clearly lying and making it all up

But what about that time you put sweets containers under your pjamas to simulate breasts?
Fetish thing YOU'RE ACE Ace people can have fetishes

But what about that time someone asked you whether you'd rather be a boy or a girl and you answered "there's advantages and disadvantages to both, right?"?
She was a girl and I didn't want to offend her by implying her gender was less desirable to be

Why do play female characters so often, even when male ones are available?
I play just as many male ones and always chose the male character in avatar creators
Because you want to or because you feel you have to?
Because I'm lazy and just make a character to match my face

Why are so many of your OCs women and girls?
Because I don't want to be sexist, even within the sanctuary of my own mind

Why are you so concerned about sexism? You're a misanthrope
Because I might get cancelled
In your own mind?
1984 style thought crime legislation is coming any day now!

Why did you change your name to [redacted] on your DS?
For like a minute! Geez, why are you reading into that one at all
Why do you remember that one at all?

Which is a bigger stretch: A cis person experiencing all of these things, or you being trans?

Too real 🥲

thats meeeeeeeeeee \(>//v//<)/

An early sign, you say? Like back when I was five years old in kindergarten, would that be early enough? Nah, I don't think so. That probably didn't mean anything.

and then theres me who can't remember my childhood. was there signs? probably, i just cant find any because i dont remember anything. before started transitioning i was just some hollow husk or shell, some pound of flesh.

which is the best evidence for me being trans, i guess.