Gives new meaning to the Norwegian term "morrabrød" (morning bread), which is to wake up with a hard-on.

Put a penis in it.

Maybe if you wore something sexy and shown some skin it would have risen to the occasion.

Why is it growing a baguette??

That's what they call a male loaf, or pain masculin in French.

That biscuit’s pretty limp.

I'm no bread doctor but it looks like your loaf has a prolapse.

Try Viagra

The loaf is upside down, that's what's wrong!

No slit? Bread penis it is.

Try showing it a dirty magazine.

Why is that bread a clam?

Next time, put it somewhere warm and moist and let it rise before you turn up the heat.

Looks flaccid

That's actually pretty solid for a first try! My first few all came out liquid.

They must have used dill dough

Honestly it looks like you did really well

looks like an eloafant to me

You forgot to put googly eyes on it!

You have to use female flour

Bernd Das Blobfish

You let it rise too long.

If you tickle its inner thigh while whispering sweet nothings into its ear then give earlobe a lustful nibble, the phallic bread will rise.