Tzeentch's would make you shower thought yourself to paranoia

Nurgle's is laced with dog shit

Korne's is just cocaine rolled in a blunt shape

Slaanesh's would be an everything bluntel

Big E's at that point in his life would be a placebo and he'd then preach to you about your mind being your greatest weapon or some shit.

Know your dealers.

You go to Nurgle for- well don't go to Nurgle for drugs, Khorne for bath salts, Slaanesh for coke, Tzeentch for acid. You go to the Emperor for a lecture on how religion is false even though you didn't bring it up but now you're socially obligated to stay while he talks.

You go to Jurgen or rattling snipers for weed.

never got into the lore but I have seen 40k posts for years so here are my opinions based on osmosis:

1. dude looks like a lovecraft monster probably see indescribable horrors if I smoke that

2. I think that's Nergle? he's basically the mucinex guy so that thing is just filled with snot

3. Don't know the red dude he looks like a gears of war fanboy though, probably tastes like monster energy drink

4. Slaneesh? the one with the horny followers, its probably like viagra and molly

5. I know that's the emperor but he's really just a skeleton thing right? I assume it would be rolled up mummy dust

Assuming I die from all of these I choose horny to death

Emperor is clearly just handing you a breadstick. When you’re here, you’re family

Slaanesh : I laced this weed with gas station boner pills.

Obviously the green guy who looks like he, himself, would be fun to smoke.