there’s a lot more to what it means to be perceived as gay in this society than just that person, personally hating gay people.
i had someone say that to me and i’m just extremely self conscious so i was just trying to figure out why….
was it my tone of voice? mannerisms?
all these penises in my mouth?
Is that why women are seldom romantically interested in me? Do they all think i’m gay? is that the key to my loneliness? (probably just the ugly part).
if you tell someone, “oh i figured you like country music” and they don’t, they’re going to wonder why.
and i don’t know if they stopped, but kids used to be pretty mean calling people gay… it can be kind of a “touching on childhood trauma” thing.

my advice: don’t “trick” people with clever “tests” and try to be genuine with your friends. If you’re gay and you have straight friends, those friends probably aren’t the problem even if they have a problem with being misidentified as gay.

Exposing people's insecurities is not a test of allyship.

I feel like this is more of a test for confidence than for supportiveness.

I'd say "because I'm stylish and I work out?" (Context: I'm fat and wear jeans and graphic tees year round)

I mean guys are socially conditioned to feel inferior and less worthwhile as men for that kind of thing, I try not to hold it against folks as long as they're kind and choose to act in support

It takes some people a looong time to unlearn that internalized rubric. Sometimes it even takes gay guys a long time to unlearn it

Yeah being an "ally" isn't enough. People need to be subjected a purity tests too because that's been a super successful strategy so far!

Seriously, if someone isn't super comfortable with gay people but they overcome those feelings and support gay rights, just take the win.

My brothers friend came out to his group, and apparently one of them just went "gayyyyy" and they had a laugh and that was that.

I don't think that would be my reaction as a straight man, but I could see why some people could be upset by others thinking that they were gay. It means you are not projecting the kind of appearance and energy you are trying to. It's like telling a trans man "oh when we first met I thought you were a woman." Maybe they can laugh that off but it probably stings still. It doesn't mean they think being a woman is inferior to being a man.

A gay dude hit on me and I was super flattered. I told him that he looked good too without saying "No Homo"

If a gay friend told me that, I would have said “you have shit taste in men”

"Yeah, lots of people do. My parents did, too."

I actually get this fairly frequently. I don't read as terribly cis, but I am.

Why is this okay because they are straight? Imagine saying you thought your Trans friend was a man, when they are trying to present as a woman.

These kind of tests are so toxic, and serve nothing but to spark an argument and hurt feelings.

You are part of the problem.

A lot of people thought I was gay my answer was always "Yeah, I get that a lot, not sure why though."

When people tell me "I thought you were gay," or whatever, I reply, "I'm not, but thank you for noticing me."

My gay friends have told me that I'm one of the least gay people they've ever seen. I don't totally know what that means, but it weirdly hurts.

I'd be interested to know why they thought that too. Not sure why that's a bad thing

I used to work at a tech repair shop right next to a big lbgtq hub in my city and there'd be gays guys in there a couple times a day who thought I was gay. Never once did I find it offensive, everyone in there always had the best outfits that look like they had a professional stylist, the most clear skin I've ever seen and the confidence of an alligator in a chicken coop. I know that's kind of a stereotype but that's exactly what it was and I would love getting lumped in with the group.

The tips there we're a lot better than the other spots in the city too, no fights, the store only got robbed once in the 3 years I worked there and the customers weren't dickheads who'd walk in, throw their broken phone on the counter (breaking it more) and say "fix this" without saying another word. It really was a decent spot to work.

I used to get accusations of being gay a lot because I had a lot of friends that happened to be women and I didn't constantly sexually harass them or whatever.

Chat, is it healthy to guilt and purity test your striaght friends because they're straight?

I'm a straight guy. I don't wish I was gay, but being bi would be pretty cool. Twice the options.

Lmao. Would love to hear this from a gay man. Would just simply say, I don't have the fashion drive to be a gay man.

I physically can not be gay. I instinctively chew anything that is in my mouth for more than ten seconds.

This was my life in the early 90’s the gay clubs had better music and women felt safer there. Many girlfriends started off by them saying “too bad your gay other wise we would be fucking.”

did women read in cosmo that inferring a guy is gay makes a good pickup line? or do I just look gay? Shit is confusing AF, but I suspect the former.

My queer kids seem to think I am lesbian. The girlfriends "are you sure your mom isn't lesbian?" I literally have birthed 4 of kids , half of that set queer, and myself had only 2 long term relationships, both with men. I'm only into men, as far as I can tell. Am not offended in the least, as I get older I do wish it was so, women hold up better; and they obviously mean it as a compliment, it's just funny.