Mainlining industrial-strength copium

Everyone younger than me are little shits who don't know nothing and everyone older than me are old farts with outdated knowledge. Fuck'em.

That's why I come here, for good, solid life advice like this.

Everyone driving slower than me = doesn't know how to drive

Everyone driving faster than me = crazy, reckless driver

Also, anyone who drives faster than me is a maniac, anyone slower is an idiot.

Is that monster drink “nerd” flavor?

Has more fun than me = drug abuser

Has more friends than me = slut

Thanks, r/ AntiMentalHealth

Good thing I don't care about these things.

What if they're more successful, more likeable, and happier? please, I need copium

Shut the fuck up Kyle.

sniff sniff

Everyone is stinky.

Anything than to have to fix my life.

I don't shower as I don't want the females to think I am gay. I don't read, study, or try so I am not a nerd. I work a deadend job to prove I am "self made". I avoid the "roids", the gym, and exercising, which saves me so much time.

If he's bigger than me: Yeah probably. I get off my ass to rake the yard or build furniture, I don't work out.

If he's richer than me: Yeah it's almost certainly via white collar crime. I live below my means, I'm the son of an IT professional, I went to college on a grant and I taught flight school before I worked in a rapid prototyping lab. I've worn blue and white collars. I've written C++ and run a lathe for my pay.

If he's smarter than me: That's easy to believe with my 3.3 GPA. I was an honor's student looked down upon by the AP and IB kids.

The man who looks better than me probably owns a mirror. I wear navy blue T-shirts and black gym shorts as a daily uniform because they're easy to launder and I shave my neck because a neckbeard bothers me when I'm trying to sleep. Do you want your Lycoming overhauled or not, because I went to mechanic school and you didn't. Thought so, that'll be $30 grand.

So I am a roided out gay nerd spending daddy's money. Cool.

President of the United States=Trump

Today I found out I'm a

Roided up gay daddies money having nerd who slept with your wife and mother at the same time.

You are welcome not to I guess. It wouldn't be cope though if you directed 3 out of 4 of those at me.