My favourite theory of the rapture

It already happened .... no one noticed because no one was taken up.

I got raptured but forgot I left the oven on so I came back and now they won't let me back in.

I missed something were we supposed to be raptured today?

HECK YES LETS GET RAPTORED AF

reads closer

Wait what?

evangelicals obsession with the raptures, when they havnt done any good in society.

I got raptured but I was hung up on my bedsheets and just floated in the bedroom for 20 minutes. I guess I'll have to catch the next one.

Just leave me behind. Thinking about it someone needs to do a pro rapture movie where all the people left behind live in peace now that god has taken them all away. Can you imagine the shit that would get thrown around by these dipshits if that movie hit the net?

I remember being sucked up a beam of light and two aliens angels welcomed me. Then I woke up in my bed with no memory. Was I raptured?

Can we circle back and reschedule the rapture for next week? Carrie is on vacation and we need her input.

I just ruptured.

Skipped over again. Thank god.

I was very disappointed at the gym this morning when I realized I didn't have it all to myself.

It would be good if all the hypocrites who preach about how christlike they are would go away

I'm at work, so I probably got sent to hell

I don't think I w

I hope it's a lot of them. Religious psychos are a scourge on humanity. The fewer the better.

Turns out a lot of them were in Gaza, they left behind more than their clothes however maybe we can reconcile this with a metempsychosis model of rapture ?

Technically not supposed to happen until the horns sound in Jerusalem, which will happen at sundown. I think we have a little bit longer before we can really mock these morons.

Me.

...

I got better.

I chose not to and made a few bucks for petwatching

Shit, I missed it. I guess I'm stuck here now

Who up rapturing their it?

✋

Lemme tell ya, I have never been more raptured!

Props on the username, OP

The rapture happened and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Leviticus commands us to stone the false prophets.

These assholes are just out for free weed.

I feel like I may have had a near-miss

Not me I’ve been sinning since the 90’s.

Yes! I did get swiftly kicked out.

I had to get out of bed to go to work, does that count?

Maybe next time

I got rap[tur]ed again

Apparently this person https://vger.to/piefed.world/post/496315