There is absolutely no valid engineering or social reason that the TP roll needs to be so far back on the right side. I want that mufkr right next to my knee, or a foot forward, and twelve inches higher. Why do we have to stretch, grope, and reach for a swath of TP?

I've had some shits where I could have used some strong arm support.

Captain's log, stardate 4200.69

51 new kinds of microbes have been discovered living in my seat because every time I flush it, the pleather or whatever the hell that cover is, is filled with piss and shit particles.

Why does it look so much like an ice cream sandwich

That level of comfort facilitates dropping a fully intact and curved “captain’s log”.

The USS Relax-your-thighs

Def gonna be dropping some captain's logs on that throne

Why TP could have one of those japanese bidet instead.

Perfect to orbit uranus looking for Klingons.