I'm not sure how to spoiler things here all the time. So warning, injury, possible death.

Yesterday, a bit after I answered the last one of these, my mother called. Her husband wasn't waking up. He was breathing. He has vitals. But he wasn't waking up. He's currently in the ICU and still...just not waking up. I'm not hopeful about this at all.

I didn't sleep last night. I should, the chest freezer arrives today. But my twin and my husband are here so they can if I pass out before it arrives.

Advanced directives are being updated for several people. I should have one. My husband should have one. Everyone should have one? We also need to write down passwords and account information and just. Entropy sucks. So much.

I'm exhausted by existence. Things had been nice for a bit. Why must they just fucking suck.

The damn screen door is broken. I have to buy a new piston for it because my daughter opened it all the way to its maximum angle and set the lock on the piston rod. The piston cannot extend further. The lock will not budge. I guess I'm heading to the hardware store over lunch to get a new one because even WD40 and a series of increasingly desperate tool choices won't unstick it.

Got to work this morning and had to fill out e-cards for teammates. I actively hate doing this because my mom used to stand over me and scream every time I wrote the wrong thing in any letter, greeting card, or thank you note I ever wrote. As a result, I spend a lot of time overanalyzing and it takes over my brain until I've completed it.

One got married and I spent a long time convincing myself not to write "have fun together and never break two laws at the same time" or "don't go to bed angry and never argue with your clothes on." The other was an active impediment and left the team. I already had to say something nice about them at the meeting last week (effectively "remember when you weren't working on my project? that was awesome") and this feels unreasonable. I went with "have fun on your new adventure" because there are pleasing overtones of May You Live In Interesting Times in it.

Somehow all of my friends are sick with something (including me).. I've been mostly laying in bed for the past few days doomscrolling as a result

Going to drive the Mom-in-law and her sister to the next town over to pick up a new car. Vrrm vrrm.

I wonder if you could purposely make those loaves look more like giant walnuts.