They actually do flap their wings. The metal allows them to do super fast microflaps, which happen to be on the same frequency as our eyes see, which is why they look static.

Okay so you know how in the water you can put on arm floaties?

Planes have fan-based air floaties under their wings and the wings just let them steer with imperceptible microflaps from the very tips.

birds actually flap their wings to keep from going too high, if they left them straight out they'd float into space. planes flap their elevators to keep from going too high instead

Planes are magnets. They are polarized depending on whether they are in the northern or southern hemisphere so that they have the same field pointing at the Earth's field. The magnets repel each other and the plane flies.

When a plane crashes, it's because the pilot tried to cross the equator.

This Italian guy named Bernoulli keeps them there

Its swamp gasses. Birds actually have jets or props, but the way the light refracts through their feathers we dont see them. The same is true for airplanes, since they dont have feathers, the refraction looks like the wings aren't moving, and that they have jets.

They move through it, they don't stay in it, that is what balloons do!

Metal's not very flexible, so it's easier to build the bird half upside-down and spin it for one continuous flap. They do this with little metal sub-wings instead of the whole aircraft because otherwise you'd have to spin the fuselage the other way - like a helicopter. The landings work out in a glide, but take-offs would be an ordeal.

Reading the comments this feels like a shitpost communuty

Because they have several high powered fart machines on their wings.

They are filled with helium.

Because bats got jealous.

I don't think many people can explain things effectively, much less like you're Calvin