Condom rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
:what-the-hell: 1
 

I can soo see this happening to someone 😂

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[–] 84 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)

Prob don't use a 9 year old condom anyway. Without spermicides the latex will deteriorate after about 5 years. With spermicide solutions it will happen around 3 years. Being in a warm and often agitated wallet, this will probably happen sooner.

You'll end up with probably a gross funky dick rash and a gross funky baby.

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  • [–] 23 points 3 weeks ago*

    Yeah, if you buy a pack of condoms, store them in a dry and cool place. You can take one out and put it in the purse, but replace it after at least half a year from the safely stored stash to prevent gross funky babies and gross funky STDs.

    Edit: This goes doubly when you are in the US. The amount of multiresistant STDs in the US currently is mindblowingly high, don't fuck around with that. And if you are in Russia, you are in HIV central anyways.

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  • [–] 68 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

    "sooo... Would you mind if we just did oral? Do you like chicken by the way?"

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  • [–] [S] 28 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

    😂😂😂
    Hands down, best reply in that situation

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  • [–] 19 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

    Might make my asexual ass consider it honestly. I can take or leave the dick but you got SEASONING?? I'm in.

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  • [–] [S] 8 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

    This made me laugh way too hard 😂
    I'll have the dick...if you don't have a need for it 👉👈

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  • [–] 7 points 3 weeks ago* (4 children)

    Sure, who needs a hose to piss? chops my own dick off and hands it to you This is what you wanted, right?

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  • [–] [S] 8 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Hey, umm...I know you didn't mean it like that but that's dangerously close to a very touchy subject for me.

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  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Oh shit- I'm sorry. Should I delete the comment?

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  • [–] 48 points 3 weeks ago

    Realistically, a packet of ramen seasoning is approximately as helpful of birth control as a condom that has been in a wallet for nine years.

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  • [–] 33 points 3 weeks ago

    Unlike latex, chicken bullion can last 9years though

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  • [–] 29 points 3 weeks ago

    Meanwhile someone somewhere is having the grossest ramen ever.

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  • [–] 18 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    I always kept a bag of tea when I carried that kind of wallet. Just in case I needed a lil midday caffeine. One of my 'friends' at the time briefly stole my wallet and came back like OMG you have a–!–wait.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago

    Literally done this with a single use glasses cleaning cloth.

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  • [+] -20 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

    I know this is a meme, but there is something called pulling out. It seems not many know what the hell that is, and it blows my mind.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

    Precum usually contains some sperm cells, so no matter how good you are at pulling out its still risky as fuck. Also condoms greatly reduce the risk of catching STIs with new partners

    My wife has a good friend who was impregnated off of precum the first time she had sex. Fortunately he was a keeper and they wanted a kid so at least it all worked out in that regard

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  • [–] 0 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    I get that, but I’ve been doing it for 9 years (since my daughter was born) and we’ve been good. Can’t be just pure luck for 9 years. I get all the studies and all that, but those same studies say up 41% of men do have sperms in their precum, not 100%. Also, the gland that produces that liquid doesn’t produce sperms either.

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