Strong...no?? 😭
Weak. Very, very weak (me).

all 66 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 39 points 3 weeks ago (43 children)

If someone hates men that's not my business, I get it and don't take it personally.

  • source
  • hideshow 43 child comments
  • [–] 27 points 3 weeks ago (40 children)

    I think hatred of all kinds is detrimental to humanity and the planet, but maybe thatsthat's just me.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 40 child comments
  • [–] 17 points 3 weeks ago* (9 children)

    Oh it absolutely is! And also, me getting offended every time I see someone who has had negative experience with men isn't going to do anything to fix that.

    The right way to respond to someone who has been harmed by patriarchy, is to be empathetic but not make it about yourself. You can't argue someone out of abuse they may have suffered

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 9 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

    When I meet someone who has negative experience with people of color who says they hate black people because of it, I call that person a racist.

    It's really easy to wax poetically about inclusivity, and the importance of fighting hatred and and prejudice as concepts in a vacuum. The true challenge to those ideals is when reality happens and people are hurt. Is equality and inclusivity just an aesthetic? Something that makes you seem magnanimous whenever you extend your grace to people you perceive have less power than you? Or is it something real, something difficult, something that can withstand being tested?

    Hatred is harmful to the person doing the hating, and harmful to society. TERF's exist as examples of how hating men can make the world worst place. They start by making excuses about how the power imbalance makes it pay to hate men, and yet because of the power imbalance the hatred seeks out the only target it can: trans women.

    You are correct that you cannot argue people put of the abuse they have suffered. The challenge lies within each of us to look within ourselves and challenge our own prejudices, even the ones we might try to justify.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    TERFs don't hate men fyi. They hate trans people, specifically trans women. They actually love allying with sexist conservative men. Also consider the power involved in someone's hatred. If a white person hates black people it results in discrimination and violence because our society is white supremacist and specifically benefits white people for upholding anti black racism. If a black person hates white people it has virtually no effect on white people because our society is white supremacist. It's the same deal with women who hate men.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    No it's not. It's freaking not and stop pretending one group hating the other is less harmful.

    "Black hating a white" is a dude who's giving more amno to white supremacist. And even if they aren't, you gotta remember extremely breeds on both sides. If there's a white dude who thinks "all blacks should die" there's also a black dude who would look at him and think all whites should die.

    There is no freaking end if you let one group hate the other damnit. That's genuinely the most flawed reasoning most of the left holds. Everyone has anger and a reason to kill the other guy.

    Society is built upon truces. Some pleasant, some unpleasant. Most are unpleasant. Everyone has to mind what they communicate to other. You have to uphold your end of the truce. If it's unfair, renegotiate it. But whatever you do you must take the other person into consideration.

    I'll be honest, the magas of your country are a gone case, but that doesn't mean you have to be unreasonable.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    I think the part of your comment about truces speaks volumes about your mindset. Well behaved victims who keep the peace while we are raped and killed is preferable to you then us expressing our anger. Conflict is just too distressing and uncomfortable to you. You would tell the black family who's children were lynched to just negotiate with white supremacists and that it's wrong to feel hate in their heart. Tell the cis women who are forced to carry their rapists fetus or the trans women put into government sanctioned sexual slavery in men's prisons that they should uphold their end of the truce. Go fuck yourself with a fistful of rusted razors you gutless sack of shit.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago

    And that would be a gross misinterpretation of what I was trying to say.

    You seriously think I meant "accepting truce" means gobble up hate crimes and rape? No, you're purposely misinterpreting my words at this point, cause that's absolutely not what I implied.

    Think idiot, what place do you leave most of the whites if you keep bundling them up with racists and magas? Maybe for their sake atleast y'all can try to atleast not insult them by colour?

    I'm not white. I am pretty much being currently attacked by current MAGA and racist groups. And I always get bundled with with every other person of my race. And I don't want anyone else to be bundled up this way, no matter if they are white or black or hipsanic, or asian.

    Saying hating whites is okay is promoting the same bad behaviours MAGA crowd operates on.

    and the "truce" was just an analogy for empathy. Which I feel west as a whole has lost a long ago, that's why people like Trump even get elected in first place. And I am proven right when I am told to fuck myself with a fistful of rusted razors instead of being given a second thought, and the kind of things you extrapolated my "idea of truce to " just shows that.

    If you want my answer, yes, people who did v coding all deserve capital punishment, and those who lynched black men or raped women deserve life spent in jail and career ruined. That's the part of the truce. By truce I never meant victims should shut up. But some sycophant would obviously think that truce means victims should shut up if their society as a whole is just devoid of empathy.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    "Don't make this about yourself" is an odd response to "You shouldn't hate any category of person" :/

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago*

    I agree that in the abstract, no category of person deserve hate. In the abstract, all categories of people are equally prone to the good and bad elements of human nature.

    However, in the context of social interaction, you have to use empathy. I don't think hate is ever justified but on the other hand, social safety for anyone who isn't a straight, white, cisgender hetero normative male is not great right now.

    it's not my place to judge the experience of someone with less privilege than me. That doesn't mean I agree with them or think it's fine to hate. I'm just not qualified to have that conversation.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (29 children)

    Have you seen what men are doing lately?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 29 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (27 children)

    That's pretty sexist to condemn an entire gender because of the actions of a vocal minority.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 27 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

    It's generalized enough to be a big fucking problem.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago (5 children)

    Shooting bystanders does not stop the attacker.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    What a bullshit response to the generalized problem of toxic masculinity and rape culture, not to mention the patriarchy that enables it all.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

    Your reply is a common reply that is used to defend the criminlization of innocent men, quite often of men that support women in the fight against the patriarchy.

    The people who don't care and are not affected by what you say are the enemy. The people who do and are are your allies.

    Stop turning against your allies.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    if you think that an oppressed group hating their oppressors is a bridge too far then you are not an ally.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 0 points 3 weeks ago*

    The flaw in that statement is that you're saying that all men are oppressing you.

    If that's what you think, I could never be your ally because you have already villainized me.

    There is nothing I can do to change your perception of me or of men, so if you want me or men to be your allies, you have to accept us as an ally.

    If you choose not to do that, then I can only conclude that you are intentionally choosing to argumentatively profit from unfixable dilemmas.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 8 points 3 weeks ago* (3 children)

    Abusers plus their enablers make up a majority. It's not all men but it's too fucking many.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Got a source on 51%+ of the male population being abusers?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    I doubt they have an exact stat. But if about 1 in 3 women experience abuse, maybe 1 in 3 men commit the abuse? I dont think it would be a 1 to 1 ratio tho. And then assume another 1 in 3 men who have enabled an abuser, that would be a majority.

    The number of enablers is probably WAY higher and the number who commit abuse is a bit lower. But I could see it being at least 51% between the two.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (15 children)

    I wouldn't call it a vocal minority. The majority of men treat women like dog shit. Just at different levels.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 15 child comments
  • [–] -3 points 3 weeks ago (14 children)

    You're letting your anecdotal experience taint your worldview.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 14 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (13 children)

    Me when I meet a victim of systemic oppression: you're letting your anecdotal experience taint your worldview

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 13 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago* (5 children)

    If your conclusion is that the entire gender is this way, then yes you are.

    I've been cheated on a bunch. Would it be fair of me to say all women are cheaters? Of course not, because my life experiences aren't representative of the population.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

    Here's the difference: Me getting angry and hating men has no material impact on men's lives. No policy under a patriarchal system will be enacted to empower women at the expense of men. Men hating women leads to laws restricting our autonomy. Men hating women leads them to commit rape, exploitation, beatings, and murders. But sure it's totally a "both sides" thing.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago

    Actually, I would counter that your vocally hating men that you're encountering with on social media is creating a hostile experience on social media.

    Your thinking that "it's not doing anything bad" is wrong.

    But I also am aware that you are simply venting your frustrations, and that you literally do not care what my response is.

    My purpose in responding is not to antagonize you. It's simply to state that you cannot right a wrong by committing another wrong.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

    That still doesn't mean that it's the majority of men.

    Sounds like you're angry at the system, not the gender. The system is propped up by a relatively small amount of people.

    It would be like saying all white people are racist because systemic racism still exists.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    yeah, that's how /systemic racism/ works. systemic does mean only the bureaucracy, it means /everything/. racism is baked into our values, behavior, and perspective from birth. we are not taught racism as some separate thing, everything we are taught is steeped in it. you can't be non-racist, you either do the work to root out the bigotry you were built with every day to be anti-racist or you remain racist as you were raised. when you do something that /could/ be racist, it will be unless you are vigilant and stop it. all white people are racist by default and all men are misogynist by default. it takes active work to be anti-racist and anti-misogynist, and most people in oppressors groups don't do that work.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (6 children)

    Your hating me for my genitals adds to the total amount of oppression in the system and alleviates none of it.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    this is a good way to put it, but nobody gives a shit about misandry on lemmy.

    it's a shame nobody ever gives thought about how the patriarchy also harms men. It's been a boot on my throat my entire life, but since I have a penis fuck me ig. In queer spaces I get to be considered "one of the good ones" as if it makes hearing rhetoric about killing all men any better.

    ah well, if being a femboy is dealing with all the bullshit that happens to women, ig having no place where you feel accepted is just part and parcel. it's nice to see people like you try to explain it though.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 0 points 3 weeks ago

    "nobody gives a shit about misandry on Lemmy" idk given the sheer amount of comments on this post alone I think Lemmy is full of butthurt dudes crying "misandry bad". If it's any consolation I don't consider you "one of the good ones". Queer men still benefit from (and often uphold) the patriarchy.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 10 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)

    one of these is not like the others

    i like your posts miisha, but this one feels a lil like a stab at other women in a way i don't love.
    i have literally never in my whole life written the word pickme so breaking the seal on that for this one i guess

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] [S] 2 points 3 weeks ago

    You know, actually you're right. Even just before posting this, I thought to myself this might be a bit offensive and I still posted it anyway. This is on me. I'll probably delete it when you read this, just so you know.
    Also...I know this goes against the intentions of your comment, but getting called a pick me is pure gender euphoria, lol. Sorry, but that's my first time being called that and I'm really enjoying the moment.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 8 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Ideal woman...

    -Woman (optional)

    -Fucks

    -Pays half of rent.

    Don't make it any more complicated than it needs to be.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

    doesn't hate men

    Men show up to piss and moan about "misandry" unprompted.

    Every man here who brought up misandry under this post, is taking part of the systemic oppression of women. You feel women are hating on you, because they are, because you are directly part of the problem.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] [S] 3 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    I mean...I really can't help but agree with that, even tho I know I'm gonna get shit for it lol

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    This would be different than other things you do as a woman? 😆🫂🧡

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] [S] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Well damn girl 😭
    That's completely true, but that was brutally honest, lol
    Sad world we live in. Take care 🫂🩷

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

    Damned if you do, damned if you don't, so do what you feel💃🏽

    Fuck em🐦‍🔥

    I will dispute you at one point though and say the the world is beautiful and amazing.

    The paperclip optimizer squeezing us to death surely is a horror though, which I figure is what you mean. I just thought it important to point out the the world itself is an unbelievably rare wonder, even in a place as vast and amazing as this universe.🌌💎

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 11 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Loyal & Independent... wait a minute

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago

    I was so close

  • source
  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago

    Had me in the first half

  • source
  • [–] -1 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

    She'd be perfect if she did hate men 😔

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] [S] 3 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

    Heya! 👋 /s
    I don't hate men. I'm very slowly starting to, but not quite there yet

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Give it time 💖 it took me a while but after experiencing so many men abuse me and other women in my life and constantly minimizing it or justifying it I snapped. I think also after I learned what v-coding was then I really went into the misandry deep end.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] [S] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Yep. And V-coding...yeah...
    I give it less than half a year tbh. At this point, with all that's happening in the world because of men...
    sigh

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago

    and it isn't just the men /actively/ doing it - it's all the men in a position to stop it or speak up who don't
    (any men mad about this: this doesn't just apply to men; it applies to any systemic oppression)

  • source
  • parent