I'm a larger man I need to do better, I know.

But nothing has embarrassed me more about that than being at the self check out and having it call out. "Two..DONUTS. please put your TWO DONUTS into the bagging area." Like, bro please. It's a cheat day.

What costs 89 cents?

I once had a dude working on monitoring the self checkouts get mad at me for having a bag that made the machine freak out and lock itself down when I sat it in the bagging area. Nothing crazy, just a normal canvas grocery bag. I don’t control your manager setting it so that anything heavier than the paper store bags set it off, dude!

I will never not read this in Mrs. Doubtfire's voice.

Don't do that, say you have 0 bags and after you pay put everything in youR bag quickly.

So much easier to let a real person do it, plus it keeps them in a job and you don't have to do unpaid labour. Win-win.

Ever since they added the gun holstered guards to check receipts I just took my ass to publix.

Fuck kroger

20 minutes? Not even the old slow checkers have 20 minute lines these days. Although a 2020's ten minutes sure can feel like a 90's twenty.

because it’s a transfer of labor, at an expense to all of us. where 12 aisles used to be open on a weekend, now 1 is with a 8 spot self check.

i used to do cashier work at my store. back in the 90’s of course.

it’s all just a way to make more profit.

if i scan it and it fails twice, i steal it. and play stupid if seen. i never give a receipt if asked. i know they’re just a worker, underpaid, and UFCW doesn’t care about them, so i just keep walking and never press it. but yeah. fuck the self checks, even IF you still use the main line.

if i have a few items only and i count to 15, i’ll straight just move to a fresh self check register and start my order over.

You're obviously not British

There is a version with a scale. Where if your item is not within the small allowed weight, it will not work. I have also seen one with a camera, and if the AI things it is the wrong item it would also lock up.

Both of these options I hate because it gets 50-75% flagged wrong, and it's literally faster just to wait in the old fashioned que

Agreed. I use the self-checkout stations almost exclusively for at least a decade, these memes are always confusing. Only time I have a problem is when I get carded for alcohol, otherwise I'm out the door.