These two beautiful and big, very big, men, they were firemen, and they came and they lifted me out of the wreckage, that I showed up to shortly after 9/11, with their bigly bronzed arms. Just hoisting me like a blushing baby, I couldn't help but touch their pecs, you know who has great pecs? I do, or I did, used to. But the evil left they came and they took all that away they said "Mr Trump, sir, your pecs, they gotta go" and then we went, uh, we went.

I hate that I have to even ask but, is this real?

I just noticed he's always had long hair. I know he beat his first wife after going to the hair transplant place she recommended. I wonder if he's been balding/thinning since he was 20.

He makes me want to puke

These guys must have had human shit and orange makeup all over their uniforms after this.

Your brave leader