Admittedly I'm not a world traveler, but I'm going with bankruptcy due to medical debt.

Salmonella from a mango

cyclospora?

Taxed on earnings as an overseas citizen

i would say pedo president, but it seems like there are more

A majority of people who proudly proclaim how religious they are, yet who don't understand the most basic things about their "religion."

Yourself in jail for not harvesting grass in your home

Brawndo

Shot, most likely by law enforcement

A loose collection of states?

Measles

An M16 at a sporting goods store at the mall in Maui.