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[–] 72 points 2 months ago

Pornography is (typically) not just filming people having sex. It's acting. The positions and sex acts chosen are ones that film well and are appealing to the target audience as fantasy, not ones that are necessarily the most pleasing. There is also no universally pleasing sex act.

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  • [–] 138 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    Probably a sexologist would be better for that than a pornstar, since porn is about looking good, not feeling good

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  • [–] 23 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    There are quite a few porn stars who have become sexologists and sex therapists.

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  • [–] 37 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    They don't need to be mutually exclusive.

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  • [–] 23 points 2 months ago

    They don’t need to be mutually exclusive.

    They aren't exclusive, but they aren't the same thing, so there's no real confirmation that a pornstar knows more than your average woman on, enjoyable sex rather than looking like she enjoys it.

    Concept of Pornstars teaching satisfying sex is to me on par with WWE wrestlers teaching self defense classes. Sure some WWE wrestlers probably have actual training in that category. But there's probably more people with just a focus on actual self defense fighting that could do the job better.

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  • [–] 36 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Do you think that actors who play doctors on TV would make good surgeons?

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  • [+] [S] -8 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    No but having something inserted in you at a place that provides pleasure probably would make them pros

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  • [–] 17 points 2 months ago

    Porn stars rarely even have the opportunity for pleasure during filming.

    Men are taking penile injections to increase performance, having to stop and cut the video several times. Women are using numbing gels to handle filming the scenes without much pain. Everything is awkward to angle it proper for the camera.

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  • [–] 29 points 2 months ago* (8 children)

    Sex and porn are very different things. A lot of young men enter into sex imitating porn, and the results tend to be terrible.

    In reality good sex is more about communication and trust than about being able to pull of crazy stunts. And once you have a good connection with someone exploring stuff is part of the fun, not something you'd like to outsource to a professional.

    Of course sexologists can play an important role and people can take inspiration from wherrver, but it is really about something completely different. Porn does a lot of harm in general.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 months ago (7 children)
  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (4 children)

    Where can you even get these? They are from the 1990s

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (2 children)

    If you're a Xennial its easy. Go back in time and search through your dad's wardrobe. That's how I watched it.

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  • [–] 62 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    For the same reason the stars of Grey's Anatomy don't teach at medical schools.

    Acting isn't real.

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  • [–] 19 points 2 months ago*

    Let me introduce you to Nina Hartley

    She is a sex educator now and an all around kick-ass lady.

    Las Vegas Weekly has described Hartley as an "outspoken feminist, sex educator and advocate for sexual freedom" and "a guiding force for a generation of feminist porn stars".[4] She has described herself both as a "classical liberal feminist"[38][39] and a democratic socialist.[32] Hartley began engaging in feminist activism in the 1980s.[40] She has said:

    "Based on my experience as a woman and a sexual being, and my understanding that I had the right to decide for myself what to do with my life – that's what I understood to be feminist, to give everybody choices – I didn't choose to be a mother but I chose this [porn] because it suits me.[41]"

    Hartley has also been involved in socialist activism[42] and has also been affiliated with the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (APAC), a labor union founded in 2014 for pornographic film actors.[32]

    Hartley was elected to the board of the Free Speech Coalition in 1995,[43] and is a long-time board member of the Woodhull Freedom Foundation (founded in 2003).[44] She has made frequent appearances at academic conferences, workshops, and in the media to promote sex positivity.[45] She has given lectures at Dartmouth College, Harvard University, and the University of California.[46][44]

    In 2006, Hartley co-authored Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex with her husband, Ira Levine. The book includes sections on sex toys, swinging, threesomes, dominance and submission, and erotic spanking.[14] Library Journal called the book a "well-written guide" that is "strong on both safe sex and a permissive approach", saying Hartley "handles the material frankly, accurately, and with sensitivity".[14]

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago

    Okay. Uh. Relationships? Really?

    Let me clue you in: most people in porn do not have great long term relationships. Many don't have them at all. I've known a few women IRL that were either in porn, or worked as escorts in one capacity or another. Their personal relationships tended to be volatile, at best, because it's really hard to separate out the things you do as a professional from what you do personally, especially when they look almost exactly the same.

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  • [–] 19 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    That would be like Bruce Willis teaching at the NYPD academy.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    A "True Sex" series would indeed be truly amazing. What we see in porn is just a bunch of acting (terrible acting).

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  • [–] 16 points 2 months ago

    Say it with me, porn is nothing like sex

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    That's like asking why Scarlett Johansson doesn't give martial arts lessons because she plays black widow.

    The skills that make porn look good and the skills that make you good at sex may be distantly related but any overlap is a coincidence.

    You're better off learning how to make friends and build relationships with people.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

    First, I think something like this does exist. I've heard ads for a service that sounded similar to this this on the Savage Love podcast.

    Second, anyone interested in this topic should check out a new docu series on Nebula called Goonworld.

    In Goonworld, video essayist FD Signifier explores America's simultaneous obsession with both enjoying and punishing pornography, sex workers, and the performance of sex.

    It's on episode two, and it's very good.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    While I think you are on the right idea I think someone else in the sex industry are more qualified. Most sex workers do lots of teaching of their clients in their jobs. So they should be teaching a master class.

    As it stands lots of them already do. Lots of kink books are written by sex workers / pro Dommes / educators. They are worth a read

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    there are books regarding this? I never knew that before.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Kink books? Loads of them. I recommend The New Bottoming and New Topping book are classics and not so new anymore. They are broad and expansive with good references to get more specific books if you want to.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago*

    Porn is missing a lot of things that are necessary for good sex - how often are you seeing lube or condoms?

    Beyond that - other than shallow plots, you get blow job, jack hammer vaginal, jack hammer anal. Moaning that is performative rather than out of genuine pleasure.

    I think a lot of young men are mislead by porn and peers into thinking there are magical Techniques (tm) that make you a sex star, when the far more complicated reality is that you have to understand your partners body.

    For example, most people enjoy receiving oral sex. You might assume that giving oral to your partner in foreplay is a good thing.However, I cannot fucking stand receiving oral and it absolutely ruins sex for me, especially when I have communicated ahead of time that I do not want it. I actually want jackhammer and blow because that ties into my own mappings of sexual pleasure. This is not what the vast majority of people want nor what culture tells us to want, but likely neither are your particular sexual desires. The best sex comes from when you connect with what they want too.

    Good sex is about connecting with someone in a way such that your pleasure is tied up in making them feel pleasure but also knowing that your pleasure matters to them too. A complicated relationship ego death dance with the idea that your bodies are made to make each other cum, which is not the same as learning mechanical techniques like you would to master a claw game. This is not what porn can possibly depict or offer.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago
    [–] 1 point 2 months ago*

    i dont think pornstars have meaningful relationships, if not superficial. they do they get into relationships but its usually with other pornstars, often times you hear them breakup almost always very shortly after getting together. because they are"open relationship or polyamarous. and some get into the porn business because they like having sex.

    its mostly acting, and they mostly choose hot, white , women in straigtht relationship, men are usually muscular, abs,tall, white. they know thier target audience both straight and same sex.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 months ago (15 children)

    ITT: people who don’t realize porn actors are multi-faceted human beings with relationships and hobbies and lives outside of porn.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 months ago (14 children)

    On the flip side, you seem to think them being pornstars does indeed give them this extra knowledge that it doesn't. They're acting in the videos. Yes several have put in the time to acquire knowledge and transition into an educational role, but not because of magic porn knowledge.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 months ago (13 children)

    I don't think porn actors are automatically disqualified from being knowledgeable about sex and relationships. That's different than thinking porn automatically bestows such knowledge on them.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago (12 children)

    Except all your replies are about the people who have transitioned into sexologist roles. You're responding to negatives people aren't asserting.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 months ago (11 children)

    That doesn't mean I think all porn actors are sexologists. But some are and use their industry knowledge to help others. I think it's a positive to help spread the word on these people because I think they're doing good in the world.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (10 children)

    And some plumbers know how to cook, and some architects know how to garden, and some sys admins aren't socially awkward.

    There's no reason to antagonize every commenter because they didn't bother to mention every exception to the rule.

    Saying "Being A does not automatically make you qualified to be B." does not imply that it's impossible for A to also be B.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 months ago* (9 children)

    I’m not antagonizing every commenter. Just ones I slightly disagree with on the basis that porn disqualified people from being experts on sex and relationships. I personally think porn positions some actors as particularly sensitive and in tune with good sex advice.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (8 children)

    But nobody's saying they are disqualified from it, just that they aren't automatically experts.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    I swear these arguments would be cut off quicker if people took even the tiniest bit of logic in high school and actually thought about things in "If A, or B, then C" and such.

    Do people not learn their Valid Propositional Forms anymore?

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  • [–] 0 points 2 months ago* (6 children)

    Ehhh shooting from the hip and saying porn stars are actors so no they don’t give good sex advice without actually looking into it or researching the topic feels disingenuous at best and judgmental af at worst.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    And I think I've even heard of an actor being able to identify a medical issue because of things they had learned while playing a doctor. Of course these things CAN happen, but don't you agree that it would be silly to assume that someone who plays a surgeon on TV would be qualified to perform surgery?

    The question was "Why don't these people do this?" Not "Is it possible for them to do this?" Every answer that you've "☝️🤓 Acktuallied" was a completely reasonable and accurate answer given the context of the question.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (4 children)

    The answer to the question “why don’t these people do this?” is “Some of these people do this.”

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Sure. That's a great answer. Once.

    Not every answer that's different from yours is an argument against your answer.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (2 children)

    Are we not on a site that specifically caters to users having discussions with one another?

    Having a differing opinion and engaging in conversation doesn’t need to be read as hostile.

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  • [–] -2 points 2 months ago

    They don't live long enough.

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