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the temu app start up sequence (2min) gets more and more cursed (social-media-cdn.panic.com)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/softwaregore@lemmy.world
36 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

it's like a fever dream

https://social.panic.com/@cabel/116987028774035194

all 36 comments

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[–] 91 points 3 months ago (13 children)

Holy fucking hell, that is every single cursed dark psychological pattern, all at once and as fast as possible!

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  • [–] 33 points 3 months ago (11 children)

    It's one of those moments where you're left struggling to figure out who this is even for. Like, it's simply too much to even respond to for the most gullible user.

    It's akin those scam calls where the person on the other end has to read you a ten minute long pitch before getting to the actual scam, but calls you back two minutes later fully knowing you're not their target.

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  • [–] 28 points 3 months ago (10 children)

    You have to remember - if this didn't work they wouldn't do it.

    Which means, it works.

    Gambling-like graphics and exciting sounds. The illusion of winning big. Praise for being a good loyal customer. The promise of huge rewards and discounts. Time pressure to act fast, now now now. Don't think, just do.

    It's every single trick and dark pattern crammed mercilessly into one app.

    And it works.

    I fear for our species.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 months ago

    It work I was flabbergasted and though wait 400# is a good deal. But boy 30 minutes on the page they lock you on is pushing people to urgency. Crazy to see, I am glad I avoid these like pest

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago (7 children)

    if this didn’t work they wouldn’t do it.

    Which means, it works.

    That's circular logic, assuming some kind of infallibility at the business end.

    Gambling-like graphics and exciting sounds. The illusion of winning big. Praise for being a good loyal customer. The promise of huge rewards and discounts. Time pressure to act fast, now now now. Don’t think, just do.

    So, how much did you end up spending on Temu after you watched the ads?

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (6 children)

    That's circular logic, assuming some kind of infallibility at the business end.

    Are you familiar with multivariate testing?

    So, how much did you end up spending on Temu after you watched the ads?

    It doesn’t have to work on everyone, just someone. I also sincerely doubt everyone is getting the full 2 minute edition. Maybe their algorithm decided to push it in this instance.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (5 children)

    Are you familiar with multivariate testing?

    Real marketing data is messy, skewed, and full of rare events that models struggle to learn from. When accuracy becomes the goal, models can look impressive while quietly getting the most important decisions wrong. This article explains why that happens, how imbalanced data creates false confidence, and what marketers should do instead.

    If you ever get your teeth into Game Theory, you discover why A/B Testing patterns can run you down a rabbit hole.

    That's before you even consider the Ur-challenge of any business enterprise - The Principle Agent Problem. When you build an incentive structure to reward certain results, you can incentivize your agents to lie to you about the effectiveness of your policies.

    It doesn’t have to work on everyone

    It presumably has to work on an increasing slice of retail market cap with each iteration.

    Is there any evidence that Temu's splash screen is generating more revenue per visitor than Amazon's?

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago (4 children)

    If you ever get your teeth into Game Theory,

    My ideal (personal) version has a protocol axis for the matrix, and the players can choose to wait. The payoff comes from ongoing constructive interference.

    you discover why A/B Testing patterns can run you down a rabbit hole.

    Multivariate testing isn’t A/B testing, it’s applied multivariate statistics that employs A/B testing as an operation.

    Tap for spoilerMultivariate statistics is a subdivision of statisticsencompassing the simultaneous observation and analysis of more than one outcome variable, i.e., multivariate random variables. Multivariate statistics concerns understanding the different aims and background of each of the different forms of multivariate analysis, and how they relate to each other. The practical application of multivariate statistics to a particular problem may involve several types of univariate and multivariate analyses in order to understand the relationships between variables and their relevance to the problem being studied.

    That's before you even consider the Ur-challenge of any business enterprise - The Principle Agent Problem. When you build an incentive structure to reward certain results, you can incentivize your agents to lie to you about the effectiveness of your policies.

    What agents?

    Is there any evidence that Temu's splash screen is generating more revenue per visitor than Amazon's?

    No idea, but if they’re doing it all the time then I doubt it’s detrimental for profitability.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago (3 children)

    What agents?

    Principal Agent Theory

    the conflict in interests and priorities that arises when one person or entity (the "agent") takes actions on behalf of another person or entity (the "principal")

    The owners/investors in the company aren't the same people doing the yeomen's work of UX design. Often, these are two entirely separate companies.

    if they’re doing it all the time then I doubt it’s detrimental for profitability.

    That's not reliance on Multivariate Testing, that's dogmatic belief in the infallibility of business management.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago (2 children)

    Thanks for introducing me to that!

    The owners/investors in the company aren't the same people doing the yeomen's work of UX design. Often, these are two entirely separate companies.

    Then we can’t speculate on how well they’re compensated or how. They clearly did a stellar job despite the cursed content though.

    That's not reliance on Multivariate Testing, that's dogmatic belief in the infallibility of business management.

    No. It’s an empirical observation. If a shop near you is doing 80% off all the time and not looking under the weather after a while you start to think they’re doing something clever behind the scenes. No dogmatic belief needed.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago (1 child)

    They clearly did a stellar job despite the cursed content though.

    Idk if I'd call 120 seconds of unskippable flash animation "stellar".

    If a shop near you is doing 80% off all the time and not looking under the weather after a while you start to think they’re doing something clever behind the scenes.

    If they're doing 80% off all the time they aren't doing something clever. They made a decision once a long time ago and haven't updated their marketing model since.

    If you're just stacking longer and longer click-bait marketing gimmicks on your splash screen, that's the opposite of "clever". That's a business model of slapping the feed bar ten times because you saw it drop a nugget of food the first time.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago

    If they're doing 80% off all the time they aren't doing something clever. They made a decision once a long time ago and haven't updated their marketing model since.

    You’re reducing things to one dimension again. Just because the sign says 80% off doesn’t mean that’s the whole schtick. The profit cold be supply side for all we know. The trick is that continuous conversion is happening, the clever bits could happen anywhere.

    If you're just stacking longer and longer click-bait marketing gimmicks on your splash screen, that's the opposite of "clever". That's a business model of slapping the feed bar ten times because you saw it drop a nugget of food the first time.

    Not if it’s algorithmic which I’ve been trying to say. Adaptive systems can do that. Heck MAB is already a thing in production. It’s not too hard to hook it to MDPI and close the loop.

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    • [–] 63 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Someone made that. They put actual effort into its existence.

    My career has had low points but never quite that low.

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  • [–] 7 points 3 months ago

    Honestly that art is for sure AI slop. Who knows about the rest. You lock a dude in a room for 4 hours and make them play the instruction game with a not and they could cook all those sloppy effects. It doesnt even have to actually do anything but make them think they need to buy something right now.

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    • [–] 54 points 3 months ago

    Is this real? That's 1:45 of intro before you even get to the store. Also

    The wheel is for illustrative purpose only, everyone will get the best result.

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    [–] 31 points 3 months ago

    Looking in on temu users:

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    [–] 30 points 3 months ago

    This thing is lead in the water supply

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    [–] 29 points 3 months ago

    I see things I've wanted to buy from temu ads. I click the ad to buy and instead of letting me buy it gives endless roulette wheels before demanding I install the app.

    I don't even try to buy now.

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    [–] 26 points 3 months ago

    Nice, I've always wanted my online shopping experience to resemble a slot machine

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    [–] 25 points 3 months ago

    Why are we using temu?

    Looks like if dark patterns had a store front.. No amount of "bargain" is worth encouraging that shit.

    Either save up for the real thing or skip it.

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    [–] 18 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Blue Archive starts up faster and nags you less than Temu. And that's an acutal gacha game.

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    • [–] 18 points 3 months ago

    Just like billionaires shop!

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    [–] 17 points 3 months ago

    Yeah no, 3 second in and I'd uninstall the app. God, the website with an ad blocker is fucking bad enough, why in the world would you opt into more tracking?

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    [–] 15 points 3 months ago

    american consumerism sponsored by china

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    [–] 15 points 3 months ago

    🤢

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    [–] 9 points 3 months ago

    The wheel is for illustrative purpose only. Everyone will get the best result.

    😐 how can anyone stand this app

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    [–] 9 points 3 months ago

    🤮

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    [–] 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    I literally only have ever heard about that store from family who talk about it being constantly advertised on Facebook.

    Looks like I'm missing a lot these days /s

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    • [–] 14 points 3 months ago

    Using Temu is a choice.

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    [–] 3 points 3 months ago

    Temu is one thing, it has escalated from some of the Alibaba methods.

    This reply with a train ticket booking app is absolutely insane:

    https://chitter.xyz/@Violet/116987501789965933

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    [–] 2 points 3 months ago

    Wait! I think I saw the perfect cock ring!

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