Yeah, I'll often spread spilled water across the table just so that it evaporates within a couple minutes.

It relies on differences in surface tension. If a liquid has a lower surface tension (energy) towards one surface than another, you get the typical capillary effect. In the case of water, the water-air energy is lower than the water- energy, so you get a capillary effect.

If water had exactly zero surface tension against every interface,

• it would not exhibit any capillary action
• life on earth would cease to exist quite quickly
• your socks would remain dry

Well cells wouldn’t be circle shaped, but would it actually be to the detriment of life in that or other ways?

Maybe cells could take a more pragmatic shape, like tactical dicks

Yep. Generally if one property of it was so different, I'd expect many others to be different as a result of that too. So physics and chemistry as we know them (with so many things relying on water) wouldn't exist. And thinking further how life on Earth started off in the water...

Not only that, but level with 2 micrometers tolerance is something only specialized CNC milling workbenches achieve

Yeah, that guy must have a really flat floor

Oh! The humidity!

I see, quite similar to the ol’ light-your-hair-on-fire-to-motivate-yourself-to-shower trick. Clever!

That is a weapons-grade life hack right there.

Goddamn. That's some diabolical hack. I might give it a try.

When some spiders are born, sometimes hundreds at a time, they cast little parachute webs and ride the wind to wherever they might go.

Palmetto bugs are like mean flying roaches that bite.

You’ll never escape the horrors of the beauty in nature.

Now imagine what wonders we could have if there were a few other quicky molecules.

What if it just applied to chlorinated tap water then

Yes and no. No surface tension implies vanishing intermolecular forces, so the liquid would not be cohesive and would expand in all directions to the volume of the room... which is pretty much the definition of a gas. Not quite though: supercritical fluids also do this as long as temperature and pressure remain high enough, and are indeed useful in niche applications industrially.

You can not "make" a given liquid like that but there are some liquids with low surface tension. From the back of my head I remember the Avogadro experiment, but to lazy to look it up. What I recall is that he "counted" the amount of particles in a drop of oil because it forms a mini layer of lying on top of water. You might notice when you drop a bit of oil in water, that it always creates a giant puddle.

Back to the original post: that thin layer of water would just evaporated instantly

wetter water

made me reread it

I'm not a geologist, but I'm imagine that the deep ocean would be a colossal underwater glacier, with intermixed sedimentary layers. Kind of like what we have with methane hydrate deposits, only much, much deeper. The super-deep ocean simply wouldn't exist, and we might not even know about the Mariana Trench, or a lot of other sea floor features. Also, it's possible a different proportion of the world's water would be frozen in this way.

With ice as a part of the sea floor, it would also interact with subduction zones at continental edges. That might push a LOT more superheated water into volcanoes, faults, and everywhere else water could go. That would probably make for a lot more geysers in such areas, and volcanic eruptions would be far more energetic.

The trajectory of human history and technology would also be changed. There might have been fewer ice bridges between continents during the last ice age. Ice-skating wouldn't become as common a thing until we get refrigeration. Harvesting ice in the winter would require bodies of water to freeze solid first, making it impractical except in shallow areas.

I'm also going to wager that glaciers would behave differently too. I don't know enough about their dynamics, but I wonder if having meltwater on the bottom helps lubricate their movements somewhat. Kind of like a lava flow, only slower. Inverting that relationship might make glaciers far less mobile.

The movie Titanic would be boring

Season 8 is really good so far. They're taking the stories in a new direction that I really like. I think Justin Roiland leaving might have actually been a positive for the writing.

Buoyancy (different densities).

Yes. But you probably wouldn't be alive.