The fact that I can't tell if this is parody or not is sad.

"They think they have it figured out, why are they so sad?"

Well Jimmy, when you realize religious fanatics would rather shoot homeless people then feed them, its a bit of a downer!

Buncha witnesses tried approaching me the other day as I was tending to my flower bed. I sprayed them with my water hose, and yelled "where is your god now, feel the might of my athiest hose, let its water soak sin into your skin" they started crying and saying "were gonna get our parents and they will call the cops". Turns out they were "girl scouts" selling "cookies" and now I have a court date. At least I didn't get witnessed, score one for this athiest

What kind of unchristian monster would want to stay home and rest on a Sunday instead of going to the enormous effort of getting the family into all your best clothes, going to the church and pretending to be socially acceptable and normal for a few hours and then cooking a massive meal like god intended?

I had a 'pastor' try and witness to me yesterday, insisting that his spiritual experiences made him right, while the spiritual experiences of people that converted to Judaism or Islam meant they had been deceived by the devil.

Straw goat attack. He's not angry, he's just tired of religious people trying to convert him.

I'm not even a atheist really and preachers were telling my co workers to not witness for me. My statements were hard to dismiss and their bullshit has too many holes in it. I made one of my co workers fellow god bothers get up and leave when I told them why their devil would never tempt me. It wasn't even my concept. I read a very short story one time about the devil being reluctant to offer deals anymore. It was afraid someone would ask for something that would destroy it. Of course the next guy asked for it. What he asked for went something like this.

"Without any change in myself whatsoever I wish to be the most evil soul to have or will exists."

That is when they told my coworker terry to never bring up jesus with me again. It was a great day for me and I told him It was a victory for me.

Edit: Here it is "Little man wishes "that without any change whatsoever in myself, I become the most evil, stupid and miserable person on earth. Satan screams."

The story is "Millennium" by Fredric Brown

What does the verb "to witness for" mean?

Every time I tell a religious person I’m an atheist they either freeze up completely, which put a damper on the conversation, or they get very angry and tell me I’m disgraceful. My experience with religious people is that they are very uncool.

I was talking to a guy a guy with a Mr.Gruff tattoo and was just staring at it and must have had an odd expression because he pointed at it and says, "This one? You recognize it from that tract meme, he's Mr Gruff."

If you distrust someone because of their religious beliefs, you're probably a bad person.

Then again, I don't trust Christians. Hypocrisy at its finest.

My parents made me go to Church growing up it's probably the reason I'm a delinquent, it's so fucking boring and I felt like my soul was being sucked out of energy

I'm sure this comment section will be civil and not at all toxic in any way.

This dude is from a obscure Disney Channel show that apparently ran for 39 episodes.

I wonder which particular cult made this. I'm gonna guess it was the Mormons. I suffered through a JW childhood in the long ago, and this doesn't seem like their style.

Ah, the fairy tale nazis are spreading their propaganda again...