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[–] 86 points 1 year ago* (7 children)

That didn't happen.
"The files don't exist."

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
"It's just full of Democrats."

And if it was, that's not a big deal.
"Old news, move on already."

And if it is, that's not my fault.
"Somebody planted my name in it."

And if it was, I didn't mean it.
???

And if I did, you deserved it.
???

That last one is going to be a doozey.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Oooh, Oooh! Let me guess the last two!

    Umm, something along the lines of "it was locker room talk." As in, "any guy in my position would have done the same."

    And for the last one... "They were asking for it!" Like they don't think of the children as children, think of them as non-humans who were begging to be-

    Ugh, this bit is too gross to continue.

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