You could go and let them know that if they don't start accepting you it'll be the last time they see you. Or you could just not go and tell them that their beliefs make you uncomfortable and feel unwelcome and go low contact for a while. Get them an actual good book on how to properly accept you and give it to them as a pre Holliday present. Read this and follow it, this is my Bible. I dunno.

Going no contact was not a hard choice for me to make when it came down to it. After so many years of my birth parent pretending to accept me but truly showing me the complete opposite over and over, I don't care what happens to her.

Sometimes you gotta do what's best for your own safety. Sometimes having it out causes even more trauma than just letting them know you're done and walk away. You can always leave a door open if you want to, you can tell them you don't want to hear from them again unless they are going to stop sending you military shit and truly respect you. If they try and immediately guilt trip you then fuck them. Some parents can be so fucking narcasistic and manipulative especially if you are asserting boundaries. They hate boundaries the most.

If you have a therapist this would be a great conversation to have with them too.

I wish I could give you the magic formula to fix this. It's so heartbreaking when people who are supposed to unconditionally love you fail over and over to actually do that simple thing. And instead of using their religion in a positive way, and loving you for who you are, use it as a cudgel to tell you how wrong you are about yourself. Just fucking ew.

We love you so much. Please take care of yourself and hopefully you can have a safe Holliday whatever you choose to do about this.