I think it's completely valid to feel this sort of anger, the oppression we face as trans women is deeply arbitrary, and only serves to make the world a crueler place for every living person.

As far as why it's like that, that is colonialism and white supremacy. Control over what constitutes and ideal, privileged group of people delineated by something "natural" like race and gender is the driving force behind the emergence and maintenance of heteronormativity. British common law constructed women as property because men wanted to own their children and their inheritance, interracial marriage bans were a response to the threat of any other group than white men gaining access to the privilege or property ownership through the autonomy of white women, anti-queer laws were necessary to ensure that the white-settler masses saw women's bodies as a vector to reproduce the white-settler way of life through their oppressed children. The anxiety they feel over us is by no means new, in fact, "deviant" gender expression was one of the primary expressions of anxiety that colonizers would make about colonized peoples as well as the settlers that they saw as corrupted or compromised by existing in colonized spaces. Transness truly is an existential threat to this way of life, because its very existence proves that it is in fact not natural or inevitable, and never was, which means there is no reason for it to continue.

The true tragedy of this violence is that it is actually pointless, even if you subscribe to the most bigoted, isolating construction of human life and human behaviour; all of it is to safeguard a system of power that is incompatible with the material world anyway. This is the hatred of people who know that their way of life is dying because it deserves to. They have never found a way to erase us, and never will, and they know that.