64
[Vent] I hate how many cis "allies" clearly don't actually see trans people as their gender. (piefed.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago by to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
43 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I saw a post earlier (not on the fediverse), about a trans woman who had a date with a cis man who was pretty clearly into her, fliriting and stuff, but then as soon as she told him she was trans the guy immediately acted different, said he wasn't into her and just wanted to be friends, etc. The poster was obviously upset by that and was trying to vent about it online in a women's community who claim to be trans inclusive, but so many of the replies were about how he wasn't transphobic, how he was such a good guy for giving her the bare minimum respect after learning she was trans, how its not transphobic to not be attracted to trans people, etc. That's also not even what the poster was saying, she just wanted support after a shitty date, something which the community is perfectly capable of doing when a cis woman is seeking it.

But also like the guy was attracted to her! He just immediately changed his mind upon learning she was trans, which is literally just transphobia, holy shit. And almost all the supportive people in the comments or anyone saying that were getting piled on.

I already know the majority of cis people don't see us as actually being our gender/sex, but it still fucking sucks everytime I see something like that that reminds me of that fact so starkly.

Edit: The number of cis people coming in to this thread and doing the exact same fucking thing I'm complaning about in this post is wild holy shit. Like congrats on not having any ability to read the room l guess lmao.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 2 points 23 hours ago* (2 children)

I mean I could be not attracted to people with a mole on their stomach and not find out about that until later even if I was initially attracted to them. I could also be attracted to someone until I found out they were being targeted by a stalker and then lose my attraction to them because of that.

You're saying that you cannot choose to not be interested in a trans person if they successfully pass and therefore you don't know in advance without that being transphobic, despite a) who you are romantically attracted to is a deeply personal choice and b) being in a relationship with someone means their life heavily effects yours. People avoid others romantically for life difficulties that aren't even their fault all the time (nasty exes, legal or money trouble, etc). Wanting to avoid potential issues associated with being trans, even though none of those are the trans person's fault is the same thing.

I think you're going to have a really hard sell to lay claim to what people are and aren't allowed to feel about potential partners. You might get people to give lip service to it, but I doubt you'll get people to have true buy in to saying they aren't allowed to feel certain things in regards to potential romantic partners. That's a pretty extreme take in my opinion.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 2 points 2 hours ago

    "I'm not racist but I won't date anyone with less than 7/8ths white ancestry. Dating not-white people is just too complicated for me and more than I want to deal with. I'm not racist, I just value white culture and want to date within it. Hope this helps."

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent