I saw a post earlier (not on the fediverse), about a trans woman who had a date with a cis man who was pretty clearly into her, fliriting and stuff, but then as soon as she told him she was trans the guy immediately acted different, said he wasn't into her and just wanted to be friends, etc. The poster was obviously upset by that and was trying to vent about it online in a women's community who claim to be trans inclusive, but so many of the replies were about how he wasn't transphobic, how he was such a good guy for giving her the bare minimum respect after learning she was trans, how its not transphobic to not be attracted to trans people, etc. That's also not even what the poster was saying, she just wanted support after a shitty date, something which the community is perfectly capable of doing when a cis woman is seeking it.

But also like the guy was attracted to her! He just immediately changed his mind upon learning she was trans, which is literally just transphobia, holy shit. And almost all the supportive people in the comments or anyone saying that were getting piled on.

I already know the majority of cis people don't see us as actually being our gender/sex, but it still fucking sucks everytime I see something like that that reminds me of that fact so starkly.

Edit: The number of cis people coming in to this thread and doing the exact same fucking thing I'm complaning about in this post is wild holy shit. Like congrats on not having any ability to read the room l guess lmao.

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[–] 10 points 13 hours ago

He didn’t see her as a woman, he saw her as a woman* and all his attention went to that asterisk.

Most people are really weird about sex even if they’re open and supportive of others.

He’s wrapped up in all those views passed onto him by a shitty society instead of just having the time of his life.

I hope we create a society where people like him live in regret about how weird they could’ve gotten and all the fun they missed. Til then, I prefer that she’s safe from transphobic regret which our society lets people get away with hurting us.

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