Yeah I mean, I think that is a very important thing to explore if you're in a safe mental space to do so; it can be surprisingly grievous in my experience.

Like you, I never really complained about having a penis, and since I was always kind of annoyed with having one, I thought everyone elso also simply tolerated their penises. I've always felt like it gets in the way, gets uncomfortable, annoying to piss with (seriously, why tf do we still let men piss standing up in any other place than a public urinal?). So, it came as a bit of a surprise to me when I heard that men actually enjoyed having one, especially after the insane shit I could see cis women do for sexual pleasure, like you mentioned above.

I didn't mind topping, I didn't mind being the one that leads during sex, or takes on more aggressive/dominant, masculinized roles, but never once did I feel fulfilled by that. Obviously, penetrative sex can still feel very good strictly in terms of physical sensation, but yeah, it's nothing I go for except for exceptionally rare cases.

The reason why I said "grievous," is because this realization actually hurt a lot when it came to me. It wasn't that I was just exceptionally sexually deviant, or desensitized by porn and sexual violence, I just had an entire lifetime of sexual understanding and fulfillment kept from me. It honestly gets deeper down into your psyche than you realize.

I completely get the kinks (I seriously don't think piss counts as weird or gross, especially for people who may have very deeply rooted discomfort with anything associated with their genitals). But yeah, I discovered that a lot of my own sexual tastes were rooted in a fundamental dissatisfaction and neglect, and even though I may enjoy many of the same kinks, the way I used to enjoy them more closely resembled self-harm than sexual pleasure; which comes with its own sort of grieving.

This isn't to say you're engaging in self-harm yourself, but just to put it out there if you're worried that this may be the case. It's completely normal to question your enjoyment of "male-"coded sexual acts, and you may even continue to enjoy them once you understand how they relate to yourself rather than what you've been socialized to use a penis for.