I think the key breakdown here is that we're disagreeing on the meaning of forgiveness.

You say "To forgive is to accept." I disagree with that. You can forgive a wrong without accepting it. Because forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for you. In other words, the benefit isn't for the forgiven, it's for the forgiver.

You say "You should not dwell on the past" and "You should move past thinking about past harms, but that does not require forgiveness." I disagree. In my view, that's what forgiveness is, in a certain sense.

You might be able to avoid thinking about the pain of the past, but unless you forgive, that pain is still buried deep somewhere inside you. You're just bottling up the emotions, and they find subconscious ways of seeping out into your moods, your perceptions, your behavior, your habits, and your interactions with others.

Forgiveness is when you pull that pain out by the root. It's when you remove the pea from under the mattress instead of merely stacking more cushions on it. It's taking the pebble out of your shoe.

"Getting over it" is a cope. It's what we tell ourselves when what we really mean is "don't think about it, pretend it's not there." Forgiveness isn't about merely coping, it's about healing.

You can still hold people accountable. You can still feel righteous indignation towards wrongdoers. Just don't make your personal happiness contingent on retribution.

He's not saying to forgive the people who hurt you so that they can evade accountability. You can forgive them, and they can still be held accountable and prevented from doing further harm. Those aren't mutually exclusive options.

When we forgive, in the way that ChunkMcHorkle is describing, we liberate ourselves from the pain of our past that we've been carrying around like chains for so long. That pain that we carry is a shackle to us, and it prevents us from fully living.

To hold onto that pain, to stay chained to it, is to give a victory to your abusers. Spite them by living fully, living freely, by being capable of experiencing joy and love again. Those are the things they took away from you. Take them back.

We can still hold wrongdoers accountable, but we don't have to wait to see them in jail before we can be happy. That is all they're saying.

And also, a little bit of how when you think you're attacking them, what you're really attacking is a ghost from your past, which you see hovering in front of them. It's a form of projection. What you're projecting is the pain you carry; and what you see instead of the person in front of you, is an image of the people who hurt you.

There are lots of assholes in Texas. No one here is denying that. But what Texas proved the other day, is that there are decent people there too. Hold the assholes accountable, but don't hate the decent people just for being from the same state. That's all