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[–] 57 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (13 children)

Some guy's paying money so this 2009 article about Smurf reproduction can be scraped by hundreds of bots a day. Let's show some love:

https://www.terminally-incoherent.com/blog/2009/04/09/smurf-reproduction/index.html


Also, the anatomical accuracy here is kinda freaking me out.

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  • [–] 21 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

    It's actually wrong. The girl smurf is the only one with a dick. The rest are drones and sexually female, except for Papa Smurf who was the last male. But if the girl smurf was gone, the lack of her pheromones would cause Papa Smurf to start producing sperm again, and the rest of them sensing that change would become breedable once more. Then they'd lay fertilized eggs underground, where they hatch with 5% becoming male. The males would gather a few drones and go start a new mushroom colony somewhere else.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    dude i used to go to this cult and you kind of just described their afterlife.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 weeks ago

    First you had me thinking the Smurfs were like that guy in the keep north of the wall in game of thrones. With all his wife daughters and whatnot. But then you started getting into eggs and I began questioning whether smurfs give live birth or how that actually works. I realize now, regarding Smurf reproduction, I have more questions than answers.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 weeks ago

    Popular, but rather silly theory claims that the smurf hats actually conceal a male sexual organ, while their trousers conceal female organ. According to that theory Smurfs reproduce communally viaΒ stackingΒ where the whole tribe gets in a circle and copulates with each other. This is rather silly.

    Pure gold, thanks for sharing, I've learned something new (albeit disgusting) today

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  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    Parthenogenesis is a new word for me, jesus

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  • [–] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    Check out Clint's Reptiles, he talks about this in great detail in many different videos. Our natural world is crazy....

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  • [–] 5 points 2 weeks ago*

    I love how physics and chemistry are like "this does this and this, except with extremely high energy this other thing can happen"

    But with biology it's just "generally... this happens... but also this... and that.... and that one we dont have a name for yet...."

    If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, eh... we're not quite sure. Could be a distant kangaroo...

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